Fugue

THIS IS SO AWESOME! I LOVE THIS PHOTO, I JUST FOUND IT LIKE NOT EVEN 2 MINUTES AGO, lol.

So yeah, Spring break started officially today. But I really, REALLY, hate long breaks, because teachers use that as an excuse to dumps a load of homework on us, including projects from months ago. Like the Junior Theme Project. So the teachers get a break from grading and that shit, while they leave their students to have no break and only do their homework for the 9 days they have off. I hate long breaks. It's not even stress fucking free.

So I told 'Tel (a friend on the bus) about me hating bastard and how much of a douche bag he is. It's funny though, she was a little freaked when I told her about all the violent thoughts I had towards him the first few days after he broke the friendship. It really wouldn't be bothering me this much IF he didn't totally fucking lie his ass off during our fight. I have told several friends about our argument and have shown them the texts, and every time I get to the part where he said I couldn't 'accept' that he had changed, they all interrupted me and asked me "What change?" SO I'M NOT THE ONLY FUCKING ONE! He was being a bitch because I asked during the fight, and he got really pissy and probably the turning point, but he was being a drama king/fag. I have no problem with gay people, trust me I don't, but he was being a fag.

But I honestly have no one to rant to, except this blog. I used to be able to talk to Lithium(I'm changing all the names to elements, except bastard, because he's a douche), but she's going through her own shit right now, so I'm not adding on to it.

Oh!!! Man, he is attempting to piss me off, and it's SO obvious. He talks to our mutual friend in Theory before I get to him. He prefers me though, mostly because no one honestly likes bastard. And today he loitered infront of my Pre-Cal class making my friend chipper, total b.s. he doesn't know shit. I swear I am going to be SO glad when Tungsten breaks up with him. One, because Tungsten is way to good for him, and two because it will be great seeing him have no one. I know that sounds really harsh, but he will have brought it upon himself. I told him why people usually don't like him, he didn't accept it and just told me people are stupid. He has this thing where he HATES the male population because of his daddy issues and his insecurity.

But yeah, I need something to change, life is becoming boring. Change of scene much!

I have nothing else to say, so bye!

Oh! I just found out that Sarah Lawrence College (a college that has been emailing me and sending me a bunch of mail, is a good school! I was writing it off as another lame college just spamming me. Wow, was I wrong. And they are a KICK ASS SCHOOL! I want to attend there now, lol.

Sneaker Pimps

Is a G band. I found them on this girls post about cutting up shirts, which I will SOOO try, when I'm in college lol. Or my senior year, it depends. So yeah, School was a drag! Did I mention that Soubi is now a bastard, so he's being renamed 'Bastard', So, to get this straight Soubi is now Bastard. So me and Bastard are now, no longer friends, he sucks I hate him. A lot.

Now, today was boring. I had theory for 2 hours, and it sucked basically. Nothing happen. But I do have something to tell my other blog! But yeah, now that I did that, Bastard wouldn't SHUT UP. He asked the most idiot questions, it was really annoying. So did kid #1 and #2, but who cares. Bastard get's on my nerves more.

Med. Term, went by fast, I was glad! Band was a drag.

Banquet meeting was super fun though! It made my day! It was pretty great.

We have block schedule this week, and it sucks! I hate it. Tomorrow I have english first thing, and then Physics which will be a drag, and then Band again, along with me not getting home until 8 because of a series of events.

Then Pre-Cal and hardcore studying for my APUSH test, with Med. Term. drag/test. Swear where is that mental distraction like alcohol or drugs. Swear man. Spring break is coming, and that's just a bunch of shit I have to do. It sucks. And summer? No looking forward to that, because I have stupid UBMS, I'm so basically blowing that off, I'm only doing stupid shit no homework, none of that crap helped me, on the contrary it made me so tired that this school year seems never ending. I want to just do stupid shit this summer. Anyone up for doing some stupid shit this upcoming summer?

Excuse my language, but I am so tired of everything. I just want to go crazy, no lie.

Let's see... um... Oh! I though this was hilarious, I found it on some girls siggy, 'Bi just means I don't understand Boys or Girls'

But yeah, that's real reason I updated, I found that quote and thought it was hilarious!

lameness

So I have been feeling so suckish! There is no one to talk to or do anything with.

I found out There was closing yesterday, and that SUCKS! That was like a second home with a bunch of friends. Sure there was drama there, but I still had some good friends. It sucks, now there is a mad search for a new place, preferably not Second life. Ugh. I hate it.

I got a 75 on my APUSH test! And I passed my FIRST EVER physics test! Sure technically I got a 67, but if I had studied or even paid attention to the units I would have passed no doubt! It was a good week for tests. You are probably thinking that those grades are horrible. Which they are, but considering I have never passed a physics test prior to this, and rarely getting a passing grade on my APUSH test, those are good grades.

Next year will be SO much easier, math comes much easier to me. And yes physics is math, but the math part I get, it's the applying it part I don't understand. I have my fortes and I know for a fact History and physics are NOT my fortes.

But yeah, last post. I was too lazy to do it, it is inevitable, I know I'm going to do it, I'm just waiting for the moment where I am pushed over the edge.

I am so bored. I'm attempting to reconnect with the girls, but they produce their own drama so it's a little hard. I'm trying, it's a short friendship anyways, they all want to stay here for college. which is preferable to me, since I'm planning to completely change in college. What ever, I'm sure they'd accept me, but I'd rather not chance it.

Oh TAKS, that was lame I did, however, sleep a good 4 hours! So yay me! I always am like a broken faucet after TAKS, I talk and talk and talk and talk really fast to get my stories across. It's crazy lol. So that's my day. Now to get home in like 2 hours after stupid useless tutorials.

point

This sense of feeling nothing is pretty much throwing me off the edge. I just wanted to write it, to document this day. Because everyone else always knows the exact day. Maybe I'll have that sense of happiness it's been a long time since my last. I don't know, what ever.

boo

This will be a short update...

So Soubi is officially a bastard. We are no longer friends, because he decided I couldn't accept his 'change' which I have no idea what it was. Because the only change I saw was him being more of an intolerant douche. I really don't think he remembers the shit he put me through at the beginning of our friendship. And then the shit he put me through a month or so ago when he decided to never reply or try to talk to me. So I'm pretty sure my pile of intolerable things I did wasn't even half of the shit he made me go through.

I won;t lie I was strongly considering breaking up the friendship when I saw that all he was interested in was nothing and we basically had no friendship, he only told me about how I should have talked to him first and that it was my fault and stupid things that I didn't need to hear. He bitched that I didn't contribute, but our ENTIRE friendship he almost NEVER contributed to our conversations. So I assumed he could live with it for a few months. But what ever. I'm completely at peace with this. It just angers me at the way he did it and for the reasons he did it, and HE'S the one who looks at me ugly and ignored me first. I was going to ignore him also, and the ugly face I give him when I think, see, or hear him is involuntary. You would be angry too.

I am lonlier, and I lost a good person to talk to, but it's only about a year and a couple of months until I graduate. I'll survive, I survived all of my first two year of high school with out someone like Soubi, I can survive another year. College will be my new start. And I can't wait, maybe I'll actually be happy.

I PASSED PHYSICS! I was so happy. At UIL yesterday, I got two 1's, one on my solo, the other on my ensemble. I was so pissed at my ensemble though, but that's in the past. On the bright side, I get my license next week! Yay!!!

Hm... that's about all I have to say in this blog.

Adios!

Past the Point of No Return

Wow, I'm a reckless soul.

Soubi and I made up this week. It's different between us. It was like a month we didn't talk, so I sould expect much more, I'm just hoping we go back to normal, but I'm used to not talking to anyone and getting through things by myself. I went through Friend's thing alone and I'm choosing to not tell him about Donk's thing.

Just to throw it out there, I really HATE it when people ask me if I'm okay or what's wrong. No one cared when I was actually having problems and now is nothing compared to back then, so just don't ask me if "I'm okay" I'll live, okay, I got through it alone back then, I can do it now.

So Soubi was like, what's wrong, yesterday after I was short with him because I was honestly not in the mood it had been a long week and I wasn't used to talking to people that I cared for, and I was talking to someone planning other things. I told him I was just stressed, which I was the 15ish hours I slept that day proved it. He didn't drop it, we argued and then I knocked out.

I know I know, we are always fighting but I can't help it, we are both stubborn and want something different from the other.

So on a brighter note... ... hold on I'm trying to think of one... ... Oh! I can identify intervals better! ... ... ... ... That's about it... ... ... Wow, that sucks lol. I'm sure better news shall come but my week was, stressing about grades, stressing about homework, stressing about registering for classes, stressing over my overall everyday schedule, stressing about classes, stressing about my future, and stressing about my council meeting (which I am so sure I did badly in). So I had a REALLY long week, with a REALLY sucky ending. But I think me and Soubi are cool right now. That all I really care to write, I must sound so horrible and like a bitch, lol. Oh well, everyone has their own opinion.

Yuki has no idea who she is!

really old post

Ah!!!! Threesome between Vanessa Dan and What ever hilary duff's character's name is. EW!!!! Worst pairing EVER! The Dan part killed everything! I mean, I really hate Dan, even when he was with Serina (who is really pissing me off now). So yeah. I could so not watch it at all. It was like ICKY! I peeked once to see if it was to the next scene it was Dan going towards Vanessa, I almost gagged. It was shocking. So yeah. Talking about odd pairings that would be going-

OMG NEXT EPISODE WILL BE AWKWARD AND VENEGEFUL AS HELL!!! HELL YEAH!!!

Buty yeah as I was saying, during lunch we were talking about weird couples and fav couples in Harry Potter Fanfics (because there are so many characters in that book) I love my friends on days like this. None of my friends have commented on how Gil is back and we are talking again. I love that guy. Oh crap, I never told you guys! Yeah, me and Gil FINALLY made up, long story short he texted me and we made up, then we argued, and I fell asleep. Deja Vu? But yeah, I think things will improve in our friendship now. I didn't text him today, he got out of practice at 7 p.m. so I'm sure he's tired, no need to bother him for the time being.

I am almost done downloading Sims 2! LEGALLY! Three hours left! man! I swear it's been downloading since the weekend, it's 4.3GB and yes, for you nerd like me, it is more than WOW