I hate it when my heart hurts. It’s not painful. Well yeah it is, but not a physical pain. It’s like a hopeless loss happiness, like it is yearning to do something to help something or someone so hard but it is confined in it’s little chamber and it just is swelling in pain trying to get me to do something even though it knows I can’t do anything either.

I hate that feeling. I really can’t stand it.

So many thoughts are roaming through my mind and I know they are so stupid they are so idiotic What else do I have to think though?

I don’t know how to make someone feel better about the future when my own thoughts on life are so depressing.

I see no point in life, we are born to die. We are trained to feel more pain then love. The only reason we keep going is because we have goals that are our check points. We live mindlessly until we maybe find something to be the sole reason we want to keep living.

Ah, life.

 

In other news! I turn 18 on Monday.

The thing I’m most excited for? Not having to lie about my birthday on gaming websites.

There’s not really anything else you can do once you turn 18.

Yeah. That’s my report for the day and probably weekend!