Confused Jumble of Thoughts

People always tell me that I don't look gay or that they suspected it. I guess I'm glad people are more open minded about the character traits of others not putting them in a box. But I always internally laugh at some of the girls actions. Especially the ones that don't know. I am a very considerate person. I do notice women and I look at them and their builds but I don't flirt with girls just because I can. Mainly because I don't want that bi-curious drama. But I'm like the good guy who doesn't try anything with girls ever. I sit there and I listen. Some girls aren't used to that. I also throw away their trash I try and comfort them, I give them advice, I hold the door open, and I just do nice gestures because it's who I am. After awhile we'll be talking and they do the whole looking at you in your eye and then get slowly closer to you and then they glance at your lips or when you're farther away they check you out or look at your boobs. (I switched tenses a million times there sorry) but they'll do that, those crazy bitches. I have been able to control my urges of looking at their lips when I speak to attractive women and I for the most part have been able to control the sub-conscience urge to look at their boobs and asses. I've been good, it's just these women and their wandering eyes. It's really funny because then they tell me they never suspected I was gay. Either all the women i know are bi, gay, or bi-curious or they all sub-consciencely realized it. I just think it's funny because most of them at some point have flirted with me. Funny white girls. Also, I remember everything I say and do when drunk and holy shit I never shut the fuck up. And I thought I was bad during with needing to constantly have noise around me.