I don't have much time as to the fact it's 12:18 and I need to go take a shower and WAKE up at 8 a.m. which I didn't do today.
Today was amazing the people are great. It feels like the most accepting place. It's 60+ of us plus the leaders.
Leadership is fucking amazing. They love you for you. I groped the hell out of people due to the fact we did a lot of things like squished next to each other while standing on two wires suspended between to tree trunks and we had to pass eachother and not fall and the only way to do that was to get up close and personal, to maintain balance and keep the person about to fall on. A lot of groping on the cube exercise. We couldn't help it.
It was awesome all in all. Loved it. i'm loving it here. And I have NO crufew! Yay no curfew!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Just A Chat
It's official I am such a Youtube fanatic now.
I said I would never.
And I am.
I blame Minecraft. God, why does it have to be so fucking addictive.
I've LITERALLY walked/boated around for like 3 hours looking for my house.
I died once, I ran around looking for my stuff, I ended up not finding it. I found teh place where I died later.
I also just inventory edited my stuff, I wasn't going to find it in time and there was no way I was going to just leave it there.
On the bright side, I got so immensely lost I'm barely finding places I kind of recognize.
I'm using this mod where it gives you seasons and I left at the beginning of spring(each season is 7 minecraft full days) and it's autumn. This is ridiculous.
I'm seconds away from just making a waypoint and killing myself. It's ridiculous how lost I am.
Totally worth it though, but I've run out of my inventory.
ANYWAYS!!!
I've probably had the worst 2 weeks in my entire life.
But I'll talk about that once I see what the conclusion of this story.
Also, Tumblr... I'm still super hooked, but Youtube is waning me off.
I need a life XDDDD
I said I would never.
And I am.
I blame Minecraft. God, why does it have to be so fucking addictive.
I've LITERALLY walked/boated around for like 3 hours looking for my house.
I died once, I ran around looking for my stuff, I ended up not finding it. I found teh place where I died later.
I also just inventory edited my stuff, I wasn't going to find it in time and there was no way I was going to just leave it there.
On the bright side, I got so immensely lost I'm barely finding places I kind of recognize.
I'm using this mod where it gives you seasons and I left at the beginning of spring(each season is 7 minecraft full days) and it's autumn. This is ridiculous.
I'm seconds away from just making a waypoint and killing myself. It's ridiculous how lost I am.
Totally worth it though, but I've run out of my inventory.
ANYWAYS!!!
I've probably had the worst 2 weeks in my entire life.
But I'll talk about that once I see what the conclusion of this story.
Also, Tumblr... I'm still super hooked, but Youtube is waning me off.
I need a life XDDDD
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
[Insert title of blog here]
My friend posted something very true.
My friend, Fiona, she was from Hong Kong and transferred here sometime at the end of Freshman year. She basically ruined one of my old bestfriend's life by becoming valedictorian, it was more the fact that she so easily made it there when my friend fought for it until she gave up.
Fuck, sorry, I still get angry when I think about how her life has panned out.
Anyways, She posted that she basically just wasted 4 years of high school studying.
She's going to study art. She's an artist, and she's bloody good. But, jeez.
She's right, she could have just partied through high school.
I'm going to become a music educator. I could easily lie about my past. If I had known. I would have throuwn all my efforts to music and ignored my AP and gone for purely regular and skipping, partying.
God, man. This sucks. All the torture I went through, for nothing. For me to just go into the one thing I always held true but from arms reach.
I fuck. All the stuff I could have done, how much better I could be. But nope. School was always a priority. It shouldn't have been, I mean yeah education great! But differentiation and integration not really a factor of my life anymore. Who John Jay was and Tippecanoe.
None of that matters. What a bummer. If you ask me what I did when I was in high school?
I was in band. I had mostly all AP classes. I studied, I played, I was on the computer a lot.
I had no life. I have no life. It still all goes to studying.
I wish I knew what life had in store for me, if I even serve a purpose here.
What's the point in life if I have no purpose, if I serve no purpose.
I don't believe in a God or deity. I probably should, but I don't, I have to see the apocalyptic hell that is for told in the Revelations part of the bible before I do though.
I do have faith though. Before I didn't. When I stopped believing in God I had lost my faith months before. I lost hold of all that I was surrounded by. But only through years of pain and suffering did I see that you have to have faith in things. Maybe not a God, but faith that good things will happen.
I don't know why I believe in that now, but I do.
I regained faith.
Now you probably think, oh she's just talking about God or the universe or whatever the fuck she believes in. But no. I really had no faith. I didn't have faith that I would do good, I didn't have faith that I would survive, I didn't have faith that I would succeed in life, I didn't have faith in my friends, I didn't have faith in my family, I didn't even have faith in myself, but now I do.
I do believe that good things will come, I do have faith that things do get better, I do have faith in everything... well, not everything, but you know. I have faith now.
It's kind of really hard when you're a die hard pessimist, but life's much less fun when you don't have faith.
The word 'faith' probably holds no meaning anymore after that. The word doesn't mean too much to me after writing that, but the feeling the actual event is still true to me.
It's fucking weird.
I finished watching Buffy like 5 minutes ago, before I started that faith rant.
I kinda liked the ending. I could have used another episode an epilogue, something, but whatever.
However, Kennedy (I believe) other than being very hot and being very lesbian, and being very sexed up with Willow, she wore suspenders in her 2nd to last outfit of the series.
Not JUST suspenders, the typical black pants with a white t-shirt with black suspenders.
Now, other than being STUPID stereotypical(they also did it with Thirteen in House all the time) I've never actually SEEN a real life lesbian/bisexual/likes girls girl wear suspenders. Let alone with a white t-shirt and black pants of some sort.
Now I'm not saying it's not attractive, because it is and a total dead give away to the fact your gay, but seriously t.v? A whole 6-8 years between shows and the only difference is that one's in black suspenders and the other is in brown suspenders.
I mean jeez.
Also, I am so rusty at my gaydar. I try not to notice people so I'm not as stupid observant as I was before, but now I just look at unimportant things to most people.
Like the way they hold themselves, their facial expressions, their face, their demeanor really.
Not really their clothes. Unless they really grab my attention. Like if their demeanor is perfect(in my eyes) I'll go straight for their body(like a horrible person XD). Like Kennedy(I think, I was only paying half attention considering I didn't want to get turned on so late in the morning.
Now, if I've explained this before, I'll do it again because I fending off sleep right now.
I find sex scenes REALLY awkward. Mostly because the pairing isn't right or really awkward.
Willow and Tara? Really awkward. Riley and Buffy, fucking awkward. Faith and Roy, really fucking awkward. Buffy and Spike, pretty good. Kennedy and Willow, pretty good.
And if it's a pretty good pairing I don't find it awkward and I just simply get aroused. Which I kind of like to avoid when it's a show about killing demons and such.
So Kennedy and Willow pretty hot. I found Kennedy hot when she first walked in, in her very early 2000's jacket.
And when I found out she was gay, well just more reason for me not to feel very bad looking at her. So she caught my eye needless to say.
I'm really pretty much rambling.
If you made it this far, kudos. I personally lost track of my point ages ago, but whatever.
Life sucks.
Moral of the story.
My friend, Fiona, she was from Hong Kong and transferred here sometime at the end of Freshman year. She basically ruined one of my old bestfriend's life by becoming valedictorian, it was more the fact that she so easily made it there when my friend fought for it until she gave up.
Fuck, sorry, I still get angry when I think about how her life has panned out.
Anyways, She posted that she basically just wasted 4 years of high school studying.
She's going to study art. She's an artist, and she's bloody good. But, jeez.
She's right, she could have just partied through high school.
I'm going to become a music educator. I could easily lie about my past. If I had known. I would have throuwn all my efforts to music and ignored my AP and gone for purely regular and skipping, partying.
God, man. This sucks. All the torture I went through, for nothing. For me to just go into the one thing I always held true but from arms reach.
I fuck. All the stuff I could have done, how much better I could be. But nope. School was always a priority. It shouldn't have been, I mean yeah education great! But differentiation and integration not really a factor of my life anymore. Who John Jay was and Tippecanoe.
None of that matters. What a bummer. If you ask me what I did when I was in high school?
I was in band. I had mostly all AP classes. I studied, I played, I was on the computer a lot.
I had no life. I have no life. It still all goes to studying.
I wish I knew what life had in store for me, if I even serve a purpose here.
What's the point in life if I have no purpose, if I serve no purpose.
I don't believe in a God or deity. I probably should, but I don't, I have to see the apocalyptic hell that is for told in the Revelations part of the bible before I do though.
I do have faith though. Before I didn't. When I stopped believing in God I had lost my faith months before. I lost hold of all that I was surrounded by. But only through years of pain and suffering did I see that you have to have faith in things. Maybe not a God, but faith that good things will happen.
I don't know why I believe in that now, but I do.
I regained faith.
Now you probably think, oh she's just talking about God or the universe or whatever the fuck she believes in. But no. I really had no faith. I didn't have faith that I would do good, I didn't have faith that I would survive, I didn't have faith that I would succeed in life, I didn't have faith in my friends, I didn't have faith in my family, I didn't even have faith in myself, but now I do.
I do believe that good things will come, I do have faith that things do get better, I do have faith in everything... well, not everything, but you know. I have faith now.
It's kind of really hard when you're a die hard pessimist, but life's much less fun when you don't have faith.
The word 'faith' probably holds no meaning anymore after that. The word doesn't mean too much to me after writing that, but the feeling the actual event is still true to me.
It's fucking weird.
I finished watching Buffy like 5 minutes ago, before I started that faith rant.
I kinda liked the ending. I could have used another episode an epilogue, something, but whatever.
However, Kennedy (I believe) other than being very hot and being very lesbian, and being very sexed up with Willow, she wore suspenders in her 2nd to last outfit of the series.
Not JUST suspenders, the typical black pants with a white t-shirt with black suspenders.
Now, other than being STUPID stereotypical(they also did it with Thirteen in House all the time) I've never actually SEEN a real life lesbian/bisexual/likes girls girl wear suspenders. Let alone with a white t-shirt and black pants of some sort.
Now I'm not saying it's not attractive, because it is and a total dead give away to the fact your gay, but seriously t.v? A whole 6-8 years between shows and the only difference is that one's in black suspenders and the other is in brown suspenders.
I mean jeez.
Also, I am so rusty at my gaydar. I try not to notice people so I'm not as stupid observant as I was before, but now I just look at unimportant things to most people.
Like the way they hold themselves, their facial expressions, their face, their demeanor really.
Not really their clothes. Unless they really grab my attention. Like if their demeanor is perfect(in my eyes) I'll go straight for their body(like a horrible person XD). Like Kennedy(I think, I was only paying half attention considering I didn't want to get turned on so late in the morning.
Now, if I've explained this before, I'll do it again because I fending off sleep right now.
I find sex scenes REALLY awkward. Mostly because the pairing isn't right or really awkward.
Willow and Tara? Really awkward. Riley and Buffy, fucking awkward. Faith and Roy, really fucking awkward. Buffy and Spike, pretty good. Kennedy and Willow, pretty good.
And if it's a pretty good pairing I don't find it awkward and I just simply get aroused. Which I kind of like to avoid when it's a show about killing demons and such.
So Kennedy and Willow pretty hot. I found Kennedy hot when she first walked in, in her very early 2000's jacket.
And when I found out she was gay, well just more reason for me not to feel very bad looking at her. So she caught my eye needless to say.
I'm really pretty much rambling.
If you made it this far, kudos. I personally lost track of my point ages ago, but whatever.
Life sucks.
Moral of the story.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
SOOOO BORED!!!!
I don't think you understand how bored I am.
I'm on a mission to watch all the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes (except the 1st season I've seen those a million times) and I'm on Season 6 out of 7.
You still don't understand?
I am THIS close to staring a fucking GAMING channel. A GAMING channel.
I am just so bored!
I don't start school for another week and a half I think.
After I finish Buffy, I'm going to practice a while for my audition when I touch down OH GOD I HAVE TO GET MY RECOMMENDATION LETTERS FILLED!!! FUCKKKK!!!!
Anyways. Other than being fucking bored.
I am going to go pick up my AP money on Monday, then Harry Potter(AT LAST) on Tuesday with my talking buddy. We've talked through the last 4 movies, where we commented on the inconsistencies.
Hopefully it'll be fun.
It'll probably be the last time I see her.
Lame.
I don't think you understand how bored I am.
I'm on a mission to watch all the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes (except the 1st season I've seen those a million times) and I'm on Season 6 out of 7.
You still don't understand?
I am THIS close to staring a fucking GAMING channel. A GAMING channel.
I am just so bored!
I don't start school for another week and a half I think.
After I finish Buffy, I'm going to practice a while for my audition when I touch down OH GOD I HAVE TO GET MY RECOMMENDATION LETTERS FILLED!!! FUCKKKK!!!!
Anyways. Other than being fucking bored.
I am going to go pick up my AP money on Monday, then Harry Potter(AT LAST) on Tuesday with my talking buddy. We've talked through the last 4 movies, where we commented on the inconsistencies.
Hopefully it'll be fun.
It'll probably be the last time I see her.
Lame.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Another Day Another Thought.
Haha! So I finished South of Nowhere. It was... cute? Pure drama of course and that chick Ashley really never got her shit together. But it ended up all happy in the end where they are "married" and are going to have a child. Thanks to Aiden's sperm and .... I forget her name... Spencer's(!) eggs in Ashley's body.
Ah, it had some good moments, I personally hated Spencer. She pissed me off often. So did Ashley.
I kinda sped through the last season, because I already knew what was going to happen.
All in all.... go watch The L Word for 'real' drama.
It was good for I don't know.
Now! I talked to that roommate of mine on facebook. Either she thinks I'm a bitch or she's a bitch. Fun!
Ah, man. It'll be fun XD and I think I'm going to move in several days before her. So... crap.
This'll be fun.
I hope we get along because I know I'm going to spend countless hours trying to not kill myself due to being over worked and having homework due in an hour.
Um... so in this leadership thing I'm in, this chick seems WAY nicer than my roommate!
She's doing music education too and, may I say once again, she seems WAY nicer than my roommate. And she's one of my advisors....
FUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK
I have homework. Damn...
Oh well. Later!
My last act of procrastination!
AHA!
humblebundle.com
!!!!
Go my gamers! Go and download awesome indie games all for only 5.06!!!
I do not lie! I already did!
And you can connect via Steam too, if you care to.
It is awesome!
And netflix!
It is so fucking amazing. No lie, so much better than imagined.
Ah, it had some good moments, I personally hated Spencer. She pissed me off often. So did Ashley.
I kinda sped through the last season, because I already knew what was going to happen.
All in all.... go watch The L Word for 'real' drama.
It was good for I don't know.
Now! I talked to that roommate of mine on facebook. Either she thinks I'm a bitch or she's a bitch. Fun!
Ah, man. It'll be fun XD and I think I'm going to move in several days before her. So... crap.
This'll be fun.
I hope we get along because I know I'm going to spend countless hours trying to not kill myself due to being over worked and having homework due in an hour.
Um... so in this leadership thing I'm in, this chick seems WAY nicer than my roommate!
She's doing music education too and, may I say once again, she seems WAY nicer than my roommate. And she's one of my advisors....
FUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK
I have homework. Damn...
Oh well. Later!
My last act of procrastination!
AHA!
humblebundle.com
!!!!
Go my gamers! Go and download awesome indie games all for only 5.06!!!
I do not lie! I already did!
And you can connect via Steam too, if you care to.
It is awesome!
And netflix!
It is so fucking amazing. No lie, so much better than imagined.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Thoughts of today.
I have no idea what to say to my new roommate.
I wrote her TWO messages on facebook and I didn't send one.
The first one because my phone decided to be a bitch. The second one because I sounded TOTALLY lame.
I do better when I can see the body language of someone. I can read people like a book... In front of me.
Also, I found out about South of Nowhere.
It came out the year my mom decided to cancel our internet.
So I'm thinking conspiracy!!!
Man, I probably wouldn't have realized it anyways. I would have been in 6th grade.
Shit wasn't real in 6th grade.
I love how my mom walks in to my room and asks me if I'm going to bed. If I were going to bed, I would be fucking asleep not with everything on. It's pretty annoying.
I would appreciate that she cares if it weren't for the fact she'd always look at me with that, you are making a stupid decision that will fucking disappoint me more than your existence does, look. It's pretty lame. It's the summer why do you give a fuck?
Let me stay up at extreme hours and maybe I'll get practice for when I'm dying in college. Thanks for the support!
I really have no idea where I got my intelligence from.
Both of my parents aren't the brightest.
These are thoughts really.
The first time I read my roommate's name, I thought it said 'Corgie' not Congie (I think) It was pretty funny. Her name is Kaley and I totally bypassed that for the interesting last name which I read wrong.
In my mind I keep calling her corgie in my mind.
If she's a cool kid I might just call her Corgie XD
We'll see.
I wrote her TWO messages on facebook and I didn't send one.
The first one because my phone decided to be a bitch. The second one because I sounded TOTALLY lame.
I do better when I can see the body language of someone. I can read people like a book... In front of me.
Also, I found out about South of Nowhere.
It came out the year my mom decided to cancel our internet.
So I'm thinking conspiracy!!!
Man, I probably wouldn't have realized it anyways. I would have been in 6th grade.
Shit wasn't real in 6th grade.
I love how my mom walks in to my room and asks me if I'm going to bed. If I were going to bed, I would be fucking asleep not with everything on. It's pretty annoying.
I would appreciate that she cares if it weren't for the fact she'd always look at me with that, you are making a stupid decision that will fucking disappoint me more than your existence does, look. It's pretty lame. It's the summer why do you give a fuck?
Let me stay up at extreme hours and maybe I'll get practice for when I'm dying in college. Thanks for the support!
I really have no idea where I got my intelligence from.
Both of my parents aren't the brightest.
These are thoughts really.
The first time I read my roommate's name, I thought it said 'Corgie' not Congie (I think) It was pretty funny. Her name is Kaley and I totally bypassed that for the interesting last name which I read wrong.
In my mind I keep calling her corgie in my mind.
If she's a cool kid I might just call her Corgie XD
We'll see.
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