THE PRETTY RECKLESS IS AWESOME!
You know why I love it so much? Taylor is TOTALLY channeling Cherie Curry and Joan Jett. From The Runaways if you didn't know. I like her music, well as much as I've heard so far, you see my comp is a failure.
Yeah, that's about it. I have nothing.
Oh I'm shaking. I know why. I need a rush. And yeah. That's about all have to document about that.
So yeah, a short one today (FINALLY, I know)
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I'm Still Breathing
So now that I think about it (yes this dream has been haunting me a bit) I really am not as noble as I described in the dream. In real life I am not that noble. I'd like to think that in that type of situation I would be that noble, I mean Thorium always said I was an idiot when ever we stopped talking because I would always torture myself because I thought he was happy and had moved on, so I guess that's like 1% noblyish. Eh I dunno, but I'm not, I'm a bit selfish though I try not to be.
So I had another dream which included Thorium, he was helping me out. I don't know about what, or how, all I remember is him pointing a gun at me. (TO MUCH GTA IN MIND)
Mexico played today! They lost :,( but we are moving to... I think you call it the 8th's in english, but it's called octavos in spanish, so I'm not sure, it's like elimination to only 2 teams from each group move on. We lost 1:0 against Uruguay. It was a pretty good game, we just didn't have our best players out there. I hate our goalie, his name is Perez, but his nickname is Conejo(rabbit/slang for elbow) and he was doing good this game, but he's OLD he's like 34 or 35, and you hit your prime once you hit 30. Anything after that is just over kill, and we have two players like that being played. Guactemo is 37, he is just over kill. Both Guactemo and Conejo were AWESOME KICK ASS player in their prime, people looked up to them, but now, it's like your time has passed move on, leave so Ochoa and Marquez and Chucharro. They are the upcoming players minus Ochoa, but he is still young and in his prime. We are going against Argentina next, if we play ALL our good players we could possibly win. Possibly.
I just cut like an inch off my hair. That was fun lol, took a whole 10-15 minutes. I think it's semi even, I believe better than last time I cut it. You see, I only cut my hair when I'm not going to do anything with it, It's like, what do I have to look forward to in the next few months, and the answer, is marching band. My hair will not survive it XD lol. I'll play with it when it gets cold. My hair gets tameish when it gets cold, so we'll see. but my ends were SO DRY, I couldn't stand it, I didn't know why my hair was being difficult this past week, and during Economics I was totally bummed out about the Mexico game that I just started playing with my pony tail and I combed it with my fingers, and after it was combed, I noticed the ends felt super dry, so I figured it out and solved the problem before things got worse!
So yeah, my life is boring. I may or may not go to my friends party this Friday, we'll see how bitchy my mom is tomorrow. And Saturday I may or may not go watch Toy Story 3, WHICH I AM DYING TO WATCH! That will pretty much be the epitome of my week. Sad thing? It's barely Tuesday, well now Wednesday.
I took a 2 hour nap writing this, so I'm not all that sleepy. And tomorrow, I'm going to be annoyed until 6p.m. tomorrow, I have SAT and ACT prep from 4-6p.m. and my last class ends at 3-3:30 depending on how bitchy my Calculus teacher is.
I'm rambling, I realize this, but no one is awake, well, no one that is worth staying awake to talk to is awake or here. I should be doing my Stat project BUT, I need to b.s. some graphs, and I'm just not willing to do that. I WOULD skip his class tomorrow, but I'm already missing an ass load of days because of band. Actually I'm only missing one, but I might as well miss a million though.
Ugh, I have nothing else to ramble about at the moment so I'll let you poor souls go!
So I had another dream which included Thorium, he was helping me out. I don't know about what, or how, all I remember is him pointing a gun at me. (TO MUCH GTA IN MIND)
Mexico played today! They lost :,( but we are moving to... I think you call it the 8th's in english, but it's called octavos in spanish, so I'm not sure, it's like elimination to only 2 teams from each group move on. We lost 1:0 against Uruguay. It was a pretty good game, we just didn't have our best players out there. I hate our goalie, his name is Perez, but his nickname is Conejo(rabbit/slang for elbow) and he was doing good this game, but he's OLD he's like 34 or 35, and you hit your prime once you hit 30. Anything after that is just over kill, and we have two players like that being played. Guactemo is 37, he is just over kill. Both Guactemo and Conejo were AWESOME KICK ASS player in their prime, people looked up to them, but now, it's like your time has passed move on, leave so Ochoa and Marquez and Chucharro. They are the upcoming players minus Ochoa, but he is still young and in his prime. We are going against Argentina next, if we play ALL our good players we could possibly win. Possibly.
I just cut like an inch off my hair. That was fun lol, took a whole 10-15 minutes. I think it's semi even, I believe better than last time I cut it. You see, I only cut my hair when I'm not going to do anything with it, It's like, what do I have to look forward to in the next few months, and the answer, is marching band. My hair will not survive it XD lol. I'll play with it when it gets cold. My hair gets tameish when it gets cold, so we'll see. but my ends were SO DRY, I couldn't stand it, I didn't know why my hair was being difficult this past week, and during Economics I was totally bummed out about the Mexico game that I just started playing with my pony tail and I combed it with my fingers, and after it was combed, I noticed the ends felt super dry, so I figured it out and solved the problem before things got worse!
So yeah, my life is boring. I may or may not go to my friends party this Friday, we'll see how bitchy my mom is tomorrow. And Saturday I may or may not go watch Toy Story 3, WHICH I AM DYING TO WATCH! That will pretty much be the epitome of my week. Sad thing? It's barely Tuesday, well now Wednesday.
I took a 2 hour nap writing this, so I'm not all that sleepy. And tomorrow, I'm going to be annoyed until 6p.m. tomorrow, I have SAT and ACT prep from 4-6p.m. and my last class ends at 3-3:30 depending on how bitchy my Calculus teacher is.
I'm rambling, I realize this, but no one is awake, well, no one that is worth staying awake to talk to is awake or here. I should be doing my Stat project BUT, I need to b.s. some graphs, and I'm just not willing to do that. I WOULD skip his class tomorrow, but I'm already missing an ass load of days because of band. Actually I'm only missing one, but I might as well miss a million though.
Ugh, I have nothing else to ramble about at the moment so I'll let you poor souls go!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The End of Thoughts
Happy Father's Day all!
My fathers day was pretty lame. I spent it at home playing GTA, I finished my car vendetta. I went crazy! My second to last car was called a 'Mesa' which was basically a Jeep, and it's BEYOND rare, so you rarely find it. So I had finally found one after about 30 minutes of searching and driving around waiting. So I steal it and start driving to the Paint n' Spray to get it to mint condition then to drive it to the docks. So on the way there I graze this other car, I think nothing anything about it since I was going to fix the car anyways, but this driver goes crazy! He's what we would call an aggressive driver. So he starts following me and ramming into me and ultimately his goal was to destroy me so I get my car into the paint n' spray and he's trapped outside, but that last only a few seconds, the door opened again I ran out of the jeep in hopes of destroying the driver before he had a chance to destroy the jeep. He is calm for like 5 seconds when I get out of the car and almost run out of the garage, then this car RAMS my jeep and it flips over, and when your car (any car) flip over on it's side or back and it can't be fixed, it catches on fire. I was PISSED. I started shooting the other car and I blew him up too. I was still pissed though. I ran out I stole a motorcycle and I started going on a shooting spree, I destroyed any car that even RESEMBLED the one that destroyed my jeep. I was beyond angry. I figured out after my 20 minute rampage that the weather had to be sunny and I had to be in a certain area at a certain time to find the jeep. I finally got another one where another angry driver hit me and destroyed that car. Finally my third try (an hour later) I got it. But I took several road trips in the middle so it wasn't all waiting.
So I actually have statistics homework, that I SHOULD be doing. but it's to watch T.V. and I'm WAY to distracted to watch t.v. continuously. I really did try today! But, GTA kept distracting me. Yeah, when I get into a video game I REALLY get into it. You know that Pirates of the Caribbean online game? I got through that online game as far as I could with out paying in 3 days. It was awesome. i probably done like 2 or 1 1/2 if I didn't sleep or had my parents annoying the hell out of me. Yeah, I was SLIGHTLY obsessed. But it's okay. I rarely do it, only during break.
I feel like visiting Dysprosium at her job. i haven't seen her since... two weeks ago? Oh wow. Lol, it feels like WAY longer ago! My favorite part of us being friends? That she is always excited to see me, or at least she acts like it. Yeah. A bit pathetic but who cares? I know I don't.
Oh! Yeah, a comment on yesterdays dream I must make, yeah, I realize I didn't really say anything about the whole basically cheating thing in the dream. But honestly, what future would there have been with me. I was basically about to die on several occasions for my cause in like a 3 day span. I was not stable at all and I was always in danger, and it was one of those things that I could only do by myself. So yeah, I GUESS I felt bad, but honestly technically she was mine first. So ugh. I... umm... okay let me try and word this in a way that it will ACTUALLY make sense.
Let's start this explanation over again! So Ar had a girlfriend R, and I was always out on a dangerous mission to save the country or whatever. I think I loved Ar in said dream, like I said it was a dream and I don't exactly remember what I felt long term. I know Ar loved me in said dream, so I knew I was hurting her by always being in danger and her always waiting for me and not knowing whether or not I would come back. So wen I saw she had a girlfriend I was phased but not tremendously. I was happy she had found someone that would be stable and there for her in a way I couldn't be. I swear I'm writing a book about this if I have the time XD. Ar should be happy and her going to the happiest place in the world with a person that could always be there for her and not be a liability. Jeez that sounds way more sappy then I meant it to come out, considering it was a dream. But yeah, that's why I didn't care about the cheating. I mean it was only going to be for those few moments before I had to go back and she was leaving the next day for zeus knows how long. So yeah. I'm sure I just wanted to enjoy it for as long as I could, and I'm sure it was the same for her. I'm sure if my sub conscience is as dramatic and cliche as I believe it is if I survived the entire ordeal I would go meet Ar at Disney in an exciting and surprising way. So yeah! If you were wondering why and hadn't figured it out, considering it was kind of in my mind and I didn't give you that great of a description.
So yeah! I have my second week of school tomorrow! I really don't want to go any more! I am so bored at school, I mean yeah I'm learning or whatever but I HATE Calculus, I despise it more than Physics. And Calculus is THREE hours long with a teacher I absolutely abhor. She's a bitch.
I'm working off of my phones internet on my laptop, it's kind of weird but I don't signal any other way. I don't have internet at my house I 'share' other peoples internet, it's horrible but my mother is cheap. I'm kind of scared for my phone, it's a little hot, so I think it's starting to over heat but, eh.
Man, my hair is getting LONG! I am getting a bit aggravated by it. I have to cut it, but if I cut it it'll be short like the last time. But, I am SO not going to put up with that during band. I might just let it get long during marching band and then chop it all off for winter. Start the new year with short hair. Ugh! College, senior year, band,I can't wait to be free, but I can't imagine being away from my friends. i think I'm giving up on my Private school dreams and I'm just going to go to Penn State or some other out of state school I'm sure if I try I could get into. My grades were way under par this year. There was really nothing I could do though. I'm going to try incredibly hard this year, but I know Calculus is going to give me the hardest time. I can do english no sweat, I can do Government no problem, I have economics if I study, Stats will be a breeze, Theory will be easy, Choir will be challenging but I'll try my hardest, Band will be an adventure but I'll get through it, online Bio will be easy when I sign up for it, eventually, but Calculus will be the hardest thing I'll have. I'm beyond discouraged, I just have a negative connotation on the teacher and the subject and the material, it's just something I don't know whether or not I'll be able to endure. I really want to drop it, I'm honestly scared.
The future generally scares me, I'm afraid I screwed myself over so much that I'm not going to be able to get into any college. And even if I do get accepted, how am I supposed to pay for it? My parents are too poor to help me in anything, I'm basically going to be on my own. Why do you think I want to go so far away? Because I don't want them to see me struggling to pay for college, I don't want to see them and be so angry at them for not being able to help me in any way. That way I can just call them and tell then everything is okay and I'm doing fine and all the bills are getting paid and all. I'm really scared lol. See, I even threw in an lol to lighten up the mood.
Man, my sub conscience is so dramatic lol. All my dreams are so black or white, at least in the heat of the (night) moment it is. Sorry, I could resist, one of my friends my sophomore year used to always sing that song, just those first few words, because she never learned the rest of the song.
I'm pretty much rambling now, so just allow me to go on my word rampage.
So you know, I still get angry when I see Thorium's picture or I see him in person. Yet in my freaking dream I had a sense of calm and peace when I saw him. I mean what the hell is that. Stupid stupid. Because I had a sense of, things would be okay and go back like they were before in that one look. But in stupid real life all his pictures just scream I'VE MOVED ON GET OVER IT! I can't STAND that it's like that now! I'm mean, don't get me wrong Technetium is my best friend and we have just gotten closer, but Thorium my my original rock. He was there when all my other shit friends were off doing nothing. I would say they had their own things going on, but they didn't. There was nothing important or serious or even remotely contradicting going on. They were just being selfish fuckers. I mean, I was too but my mind was in shambles I was trapped in my old stupidity and I couldn't find a way out other than trapping myself in a rock where no one could touch me or get near me, and guess who came along and helped me out of the rock? Yup, Thorium, while the rest of my so called friends were off having fun not seeing any of the bad outside of their own little bubbles.
Now when I say 'friends' I don't mean them all, I mean the ones that love to call me one of their close friends but don't do anything to make me that, what do they know about me, hm... I'm in band, I play the flute, maybe the fact I have a half sister, maybe they'll even remember I hate her, they'll say I'm in ubms, if they even remember it, they'll say I'm tall, I'm 'crazy', I play the flute, I'm the assistant section leader, they might remember that I tried out my freshman year and fern beat me out, they'll say I like music, they might remember I want to be a composer or a chemist. They won't know that I was in a severe depression since the end of 8th grade that didn't dim down until the middle of 10th grade and moved down to a regular depression until I reached a few months before 11th grade ended, and that now I'm trying very hard to not revert back to anything I was back then. They wouldn't be able to tell you that I like both girls and boys, they wouldn't be able to tell you that I dated a guy for a week, only a few knew about that, they wouldn't know I absolutely HATED my first boyfriend and even to this day I don't know why exactly I said yes. They wouldn't be able to tell you that he kissed *gag* me when he walked me to 6th period one day and I was absolutely furious, that I had to keep on the inside. And I told him a fake reason why I was mad, they wouldn't be able to tell you that he ickily licked his lips before hand because it was a sloppy surprise kiss, I was pissed btw, they wouldn't be able to tell you I also want to study genetics and sociology and psychology and biology and biochemistry and they wouldn't be able to tell you that I actually do like Greys and I'm kind of sort of obsessed with it, but House beats out everything, I'm a sucker for doctor shows. Top 3 you might ask them? House, Grey's, Scrubs, but my 'friends' would know it. If you can't answer at least half of these, well then, you are pretty much a failure, The top 3 I'll even let you only have the first one.
Yeah, that's my rant. And I have school in like 7 hours, and I have a report I haven't don that I will do in 5 hours when my mother finds it necessary to wake me up.
My fathers day was pretty lame. I spent it at home playing GTA, I finished my car vendetta. I went crazy! My second to last car was called a 'Mesa' which was basically a Jeep, and it's BEYOND rare, so you rarely find it. So I had finally found one after about 30 minutes of searching and driving around waiting. So I steal it and start driving to the Paint n' Spray to get it to mint condition then to drive it to the docks. So on the way there I graze this other car, I think nothing anything about it since I was going to fix the car anyways, but this driver goes crazy! He's what we would call an aggressive driver. So he starts following me and ramming into me and ultimately his goal was to destroy me so I get my car into the paint n' spray and he's trapped outside, but that last only a few seconds, the door opened again I ran out of the jeep in hopes of destroying the driver before he had a chance to destroy the jeep. He is calm for like 5 seconds when I get out of the car and almost run out of the garage, then this car RAMS my jeep and it flips over, and when your car (any car) flip over on it's side or back and it can't be fixed, it catches on fire. I was PISSED. I started shooting the other car and I blew him up too. I was still pissed though. I ran out I stole a motorcycle and I started going on a shooting spree, I destroyed any car that even RESEMBLED the one that destroyed my jeep. I was beyond angry. I figured out after my 20 minute rampage that the weather had to be sunny and I had to be in a certain area at a certain time to find the jeep. I finally got another one where another angry driver hit me and destroyed that car. Finally my third try (an hour later) I got it. But I took several road trips in the middle so it wasn't all waiting.
So I actually have statistics homework, that I SHOULD be doing. but it's to watch T.V. and I'm WAY to distracted to watch t.v. continuously. I really did try today! But, GTA kept distracting me. Yeah, when I get into a video game I REALLY get into it. You know that Pirates of the Caribbean online game? I got through that online game as far as I could with out paying in 3 days. It was awesome. i probably done like 2 or 1 1/2 if I didn't sleep or had my parents annoying the hell out of me. Yeah, I was SLIGHTLY obsessed. But it's okay. I rarely do it, only during break.
I feel like visiting Dysprosium at her job. i haven't seen her since... two weeks ago? Oh wow. Lol, it feels like WAY longer ago! My favorite part of us being friends? That she is always excited to see me, or at least she acts like it. Yeah. A bit pathetic but who cares? I know I don't.
Oh! Yeah, a comment on yesterdays dream I must make, yeah, I realize I didn't really say anything about the whole basically cheating thing in the dream. But honestly, what future would there have been with me. I was basically about to die on several occasions for my cause in like a 3 day span. I was not stable at all and I was always in danger, and it was one of those things that I could only do by myself. So yeah, I GUESS I felt bad, but honestly technically she was mine first. So ugh. I... umm... okay let me try and word this in a way that it will ACTUALLY make sense.
Let's start this explanation over again! So Ar had a girlfriend R, and I was always out on a dangerous mission to save the country or whatever. I think I loved Ar in said dream, like I said it was a dream and I don't exactly remember what I felt long term. I know Ar loved me in said dream, so I knew I was hurting her by always being in danger and her always waiting for me and not knowing whether or not I would come back. So wen I saw she had a girlfriend I was phased but not tremendously. I was happy she had found someone that would be stable and there for her in a way I couldn't be. I swear I'm writing a book about this if I have the time XD. Ar should be happy and her going to the happiest place in the world with a person that could always be there for her and not be a liability. Jeez that sounds way more sappy then I meant it to come out, considering it was a dream. But yeah, that's why I didn't care about the cheating. I mean it was only going to be for those few moments before I had to go back and she was leaving the next day for zeus knows how long. So yeah. I'm sure I just wanted to enjoy it for as long as I could, and I'm sure it was the same for her. I'm sure if my sub conscience is as dramatic and cliche as I believe it is if I survived the entire ordeal I would go meet Ar at Disney in an exciting and surprising way. So yeah! If you were wondering why and hadn't figured it out, considering it was kind of in my mind and I didn't give you that great of a description.
So yeah! I have my second week of school tomorrow! I really don't want to go any more! I am so bored at school, I mean yeah I'm learning or whatever but I HATE Calculus, I despise it more than Physics. And Calculus is THREE hours long with a teacher I absolutely abhor. She's a bitch.
I'm working off of my phones internet on my laptop, it's kind of weird but I don't signal any other way. I don't have internet at my house I 'share' other peoples internet, it's horrible but my mother is cheap. I'm kind of scared for my phone, it's a little hot, so I think it's starting to over heat but, eh.
Man, my hair is getting LONG! I am getting a bit aggravated by it. I have to cut it, but if I cut it it'll be short like the last time. But, I am SO not going to put up with that during band. I might just let it get long during marching band and then chop it all off for winter. Start the new year with short hair. Ugh! College, senior year, band,I can't wait to be free, but I can't imagine being away from my friends. i think I'm giving up on my Private school dreams and I'm just going to go to Penn State or some other out of state school I'm sure if I try I could get into. My grades were way under par this year. There was really nothing I could do though. I'm going to try incredibly hard this year, but I know Calculus is going to give me the hardest time. I can do english no sweat, I can do Government no problem, I have economics if I study, Stats will be a breeze, Theory will be easy, Choir will be challenging but I'll try my hardest, Band will be an adventure but I'll get through it, online Bio will be easy when I sign up for it, eventually, but Calculus will be the hardest thing I'll have. I'm beyond discouraged, I just have a negative connotation on the teacher and the subject and the material, it's just something I don't know whether or not I'll be able to endure. I really want to drop it, I'm honestly scared.
The future generally scares me, I'm afraid I screwed myself over so much that I'm not going to be able to get into any college. And even if I do get accepted, how am I supposed to pay for it? My parents are too poor to help me in anything, I'm basically going to be on my own. Why do you think I want to go so far away? Because I don't want them to see me struggling to pay for college, I don't want to see them and be so angry at them for not being able to help me in any way. That way I can just call them and tell then everything is okay and I'm doing fine and all the bills are getting paid and all. I'm really scared lol. See, I even threw in an lol to lighten up the mood.
Man, my sub conscience is so dramatic lol. All my dreams are so black or white, at least in the heat of the (night) moment it is. Sorry, I could resist, one of my friends my sophomore year used to always sing that song, just those first few words, because she never learned the rest of the song.
I'm pretty much rambling now, so just allow me to go on my word rampage.
So you know, I still get angry when I see Thorium's picture or I see him in person. Yet in my freaking dream I had a sense of calm and peace when I saw him. I mean what the hell is that. Stupid stupid. Because I had a sense of, things would be okay and go back like they were before in that one look. But in stupid real life all his pictures just scream I'VE MOVED ON GET OVER IT! I can't STAND that it's like that now! I'm mean, don't get me wrong Technetium is my best friend and we have just gotten closer, but Thorium my my original rock. He was there when all my other shit friends were off doing nothing. I would say they had their own things going on, but they didn't. There was nothing important or serious or even remotely contradicting going on. They were just being selfish fuckers. I mean, I was too but my mind was in shambles I was trapped in my old stupidity and I couldn't find a way out other than trapping myself in a rock where no one could touch me or get near me, and guess who came along and helped me out of the rock? Yup, Thorium, while the rest of my so called friends were off having fun not seeing any of the bad outside of their own little bubbles.
Now when I say 'friends' I don't mean them all, I mean the ones that love to call me one of their close friends but don't do anything to make me that, what do they know about me, hm... I'm in band, I play the flute, maybe the fact I have a half sister, maybe they'll even remember I hate her, they'll say I'm in ubms, if they even remember it, they'll say I'm tall, I'm 'crazy', I play the flute, I'm the assistant section leader, they might remember that I tried out my freshman year and fern beat me out, they'll say I like music, they might remember I want to be a composer or a chemist. They won't know that I was in a severe depression since the end of 8th grade that didn't dim down until the middle of 10th grade and moved down to a regular depression until I reached a few months before 11th grade ended, and that now I'm trying very hard to not revert back to anything I was back then. They wouldn't be able to tell you that I like both girls and boys, they wouldn't be able to tell you that I dated a guy for a week, only a few knew about that, they wouldn't know I absolutely HATED my first boyfriend and even to this day I don't know why exactly I said yes. They wouldn't be able to tell you that he kissed *gag* me when he walked me to 6th period one day and I was absolutely furious, that I had to keep on the inside. And I told him a fake reason why I was mad, they wouldn't be able to tell you that he ickily licked his lips before hand because it was a sloppy surprise kiss, I was pissed btw, they wouldn't be able to tell you I also want to study genetics and sociology and psychology and biology and biochemistry and they wouldn't be able to tell you that I actually do like Greys and I'm kind of sort of obsessed with it, but House beats out everything, I'm a sucker for doctor shows. Top 3 you might ask them? House, Grey's, Scrubs, but my 'friends' would know it. If you can't answer at least half of these, well then, you are pretty much a failure, The top 3 I'll even let you only have the first one.
Yeah, that's my rant. And I have school in like 7 hours, and I have a report I haven't don that I will do in 5 hours when my mother finds it necessary to wake me up.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
All About Us
Okay, so I was going to post yesterday, BUT, I had to finish GTA San Andreas, the missions were finally getting fun and not to be a chore. But I did think about what I was going to write, before I became obsessed. I did finish the main plot! But I still have like 27 percent to go before I get it 100% done. I have become aggravated, I dedicated my time to chasing down the cars I have to export, I am on my last chalkboard! But it still takes FOREVER! So I've moved on to work on the internet.
WORLD CUP!!! Yeah! I am totally into it! I go for Inglaterra (England) and Mexico (of course) and Alemania (Germany), They are my top 3, Mexico is going to lose this next round against Uruguay. Germany let me down yesterday! England let me down completely yesterday, but at least they tied or won I can't remember. U.S.A, that was an okay game, they shocked me. I really don't remember a lot about the games, considering I only watched them at school when I was supposed to be caring about other things.
I had my research class yesterday, 7a.m. - 12p.m. it's stupid, if it weren't for the $100 bonus I would have dropped it. So I'm in the 'Other' category of the research classes. I want to do something psychological, but the teacher doesn't want me to do it. He is trying to sway my opinion to something he wants. He wants us to research what he wants to learn. I am on to him, I am sort of kind of okay at this whole psychology thing.
It kind of comes naturally to me. It's very fascinating that everyone and their momma is in this field, but there has been no progress on the mind's inner working's. I dunno. I'ma little out of it. I don't know why really. I probably need to stand up and get my blood pumping, but nah.
I was planning to start exercising this week, but then the air went out that knocked me down, then I just never started again. I really don't want to start it but once I start I really don't stop, like I hate running, I hate starting but then after like 20 seconds I enjoy it, I would probably run more if my boobs weren't so annoyingly big. I mean it's just a burden. There are means to making it less annoying but, that's just a process. I know, excuses excuses, but I'll start eventually.
So, Technetium left this week! She must have already had a myocardial infarction from all the hot asian guys all over the place! Lol. She better be having the time of her life!
Oh! So I promised you guys a description of a hot guy, let's call him Maslanka, because I could have sworn that was his last name for the LONGEST time. He's this upward bound kid I've known since 9th grade, we aren't really friends, but we know each other and talk every once in a while, especially about the cup! So all the girls were obsessed with him. I mean, he's hot. He is like 5' 7" (he said it in english class the other day) He is Hispanic, he is very tan. He is very fit and looks buff, not that ugly buff but that just right buff. He has short hair, he has brown eyes that could make you melt. He takes care of himself enough to not be a slob, but enough to not be metro. He is very intellectual so you aren't with an idiot, but he is also a jock, he plays soccer and he is aways in shape, he has short shaggy hair, which totally works for him. The only down side to him, is that he is a complete show off intellectually and a know it all. Only down side. Everything else is pretty spectacular. He's a total sensitive guy too. XD Okay, so there is my male spiel, I told you I had it in me! I just couldn't think of anyone hot. Well there is this one... nah. Later
Did that bother you? You know what I'm talking about, especially if it bothered you. I didn't put a period there! Duh! hahaha, Thulium and her boyfriend were discussing that forever ago in leadership during our lunch hour. It was the funniest thing ever and adorable!
You know what I hate? Lying. I hate lying, I'd rather not say the entire truth or avoid the question completely. I really hate it. It's one of those things that I just don't like doing. I mean, I'm a professional at lying, I can lie to your face and looking you in the eye, I don;t find it hard to do, I just hate it. I lied my out of 8th grade and all of 9th grade. I really got lost in my own lies. It's just blah. I never got caught.
Now that was a prelude to my dream last night. I woke up like... woah. That was weird. One, it was my first semi homo dream. I mean, it was weird, the person it was with was even weirder, I mean said person (we'll call her Ar [I don't think that's an element.] just for the sake of this explanation.) is attractive and all, I just don't like her, nor have I ever thought about anything about it. I have my theory about why it was her, but we'll save that for later. So. The beginning I only remember parts of it. It was greatly influenced by GTA's action. I was sneaking somewhere to go get rid of the dictator who was on a train going to his home. So I had to sneak aboard the train to attempt to kill him before i GOT THERE. I was apparently a part of a rogue group of rebels against the communist dictator. So I had no weapons on me, at all, except my brain. And this was a very long process like I'm assuming months of attempts on the dictator's life that I had a montage of attempts that I had escaped. So I was on this train and I almost get caught, but the entire train had been informed that I was there, so I had to find a hiding spot fast. So I hid next to these boxes and the outside. I struggled to hold on the entire time, afraid that my team (that was apparently on the train somewhere undercover).
I eventually was caught, and I was brought into the city of the bad. I am calling it that now, because I don't know what else to call it. It's like the entire headquarters of the dictator, it was like a castle but all indoors. And all white and hi-tech. So I somehow escape and I spend some days with my team inside the headquarters in some wing that wasn't used but near the boss. So I went to go try we are just trying to survive when we are discovered, and I am a martyr and I give myself up to give my team the ability to run away, I assume they get caught either way, and I was angry. So I am taken into this room that they were going to torture me in, this guy is asking me all these questions and I had escaped with my words the first time on the train, I don't know how. But I was the leader of the rogue group and I was being interrogated and they were about to connect me to some electric things to shock the truth out of me, I panic, but I keep my cool in my mind, and I begin to ramble what sounds like the truth, I tell them that my plans were useless and that I planned to give up and give myself up to the leader and beg my forgiveness and me and my team were willing to do anything. My team mindlessly followed me and that they weren't responsible for anything and it was all my doing.
So they completely bought it. I was that convincing, the torture people went away and the second in command said he accepted my apology and told me I would have the opportunity to apologize to the leader in person later. He also told me I had to stay in that room with other prisoners (but just like in the room not really trapped or anything) and I would be shot if i tried to escape, and that it was only a precaution, I told them I understood.
So they took us out of the a little later (like night) to go eat or go the the bathroom, I'm not very sure, I just escaped and I ran over across the hall to the rooms where my undercover team was. I saw Technetium and I was panicking because I only had so much time until I was discovered outside their room. I frantically asked her where Ar was, and she gave me this confused face, because she couldn't hear me through the door. She eventually just stood up and opened the door I ran in and I was about to tear up the entire area (it was like two rooms combined by a doorway) looking for Ar, but then I was about to go in a full sprint and she popped out of the door way and her boyfriend or ex, I don't what he was in my dream, was like a foot away from her, and he was also shocked to see me and I just stopped mid step and froze. I don't know why. Like I was shocked she was totally okay. And I tried acting all tough, and I told her while I looked at the ground and I moved the imaginary dirt (like someone said, drawing Africa on the floor "You would have died in there."
(She was in the team with me in the hallway hiding out and I believe she told me not to go and get caught to give them the opportunity to escape, because it wasn't a life I wanted them to live, she tried to go with me but I had the others stop her I told her that I was the only one that would be able to endure what ever they threw at me.)
She said "I know." and looked at me with semi watery eyes as she started walked towards me very slowly and she looked down. She looked groomed and all. I think I was surprised my entire team was able to integrate with my undercover team. But I was impressed at the same time, they had done well under my unknown training. So then Ar looked up and ran towards me and glomped(YES IT IS A WORD SPELL CHECK) me. And we just hugged for an incredibly long time, just holding on like we were afraid to let go in this dangerous place and situation (this would make an awesome movie or book) and then we were somehow in the other room next to like this entire wall window where you could see outside but the people outside only saw a wall. (I said hi-tech) and then I moved the hair out of her face and she looked up at me (she in RL is was shorter than me, but in my dream she was only slightly shorter than me, like 2-3 inches) and I kissed her, like I made the first move, which I probably would never do, I'm a complete chicken. So we only kissed for a a very short amount of time, because then her what I assumed was her girlfriend popped out of no where, and started asking something.
Then after the girl friend the two doors at the ends of the connected rooms opened and men in black and black caps opened the door and yelled something, I was totally freaking out since I wasn't even supposed to be there and I couldn't bee seen in there. But they popped in and popped back out as fast as they went in. Me still holding on to Ar, I asked her what they said, since I was too busy searching for somewhere to hide in the room where it was basically impossible. She held on to my side and she let go with her other hand and looked at her suitcase that was on her bed (which I had no noticed when we somehow got into that room) and she told me that her room (which was populated by random people I didn't know) and said that her room was going to go to Disney World in Florida and the other room where Technetium was going to Disney Land in California tomorrow. I was like, "Oh right, I'm glad you signed up" and I was thinking so you could get away from this chaos and danger. It was sponsored by the school for the smartest kids and she signed up for it. I was regretting not signing up so I could get away too, but I quickly remembered I had other responsibilities that I couldn't escape either way.
So then I held her around the waist as she did something similar and then we just started rocking slightly kind of like we were dancing but her (what I assumed) girlfriend kept nagging her about something and I tried to guide us away slyly (since apparently I'm great at it in this dream) and I attempt to kiss her again, but stupid girlfriend made Ar guarded. Stupid random girlfriend, her name was like Ronda or something like that.
And then my dream ended like that, and then I moved on to my panic about Music camp, in so many words I made it like it was after school and I forgot everything and I wasn't near anyone I knew, and it was an overnight camp thing. I was crazy and Gaby guided me through the whole dream. So many inconsistencies (OH SNAP! I spelled it right) in that dream. But you know how my dreams ended, it was the music camp one and I turned around to see who's hand was around the guy next to me, and it was Thorium next to the not so scary black guy (though I was terrified of him in the beginning) and I touched his hand, because he hadn't noticed me either (black guy was going to hug his friend which is why he swatted Thorium off of him) so I touched his hand which was inches away from me and his arm was reclined against the bar of a door. (we were all sitting against the wall). He turned around slowly and then he saw me and smiled at me, like that sleepy 'Hey' smile. And then it ended with a close up of that face.
It was weird night in all.
Now! My theory as to why I dreamed it as Ar instead of someone who I actually like. I was talking to this guy I don't like, but we have a long past together, so I tolerate him talking to me. I wouldn't tolerate anyone else like him. And I was annoyed by him in the morning. I was aggravated that he was talking to me. I stopped talking to him after a while because my research teacher finally got there. He had been texting me EVERYDAY this week and I was fed up and told him straight. I swear. I should tell him I'm a lesbian to get him away. Nah, that would NOT go over well now that I think about it. But anyways, I was annoyed by him and then he sent me 'Night' around 12 an hour or so before I fell asleep. And he likes Ar and used to go on forever about not knowing whether or not to tell her. And I think my dream was revenge. Like, HA I could get her and you couldn't. And the girlfriend had a name kind of sorta not really at all close to the guy's name. So that's MY theory. Considering this dream had SO many things I have learned about this week and hinted at things I had learned about.
I think that's all. My Stat teacher is a beast. Apparently UBMS switched the trip that was originally to new york then to the southern states is back on to new york but only the people that signed up for the southern trip could go. I found out in Calculus, and I was already frustrated at the fact I didn't know anything, then to find out that, I was close to angry tears. I didn't go to the trip for the one reason it wasn't to New York as planned. EVERY COLLEGE I WANT TO GO TO IS IN NEW YORK. I mean I feel bamboozled. I feel like betrayed by the organization. I mean wtf is that. I was incredibly pissed. I love Statistics. The teacher is fun and teaches with M&M's. It's great! I can't wait for his class again. Let's see what else. I think that's it. Oh! My English teacher is a gay black guy. I don't think he identifies as gay though. But he is is SOOO gay. My Economics teacher is a really nice old white guy, he even sounds like the nicest guy ever. My Government teacher is crazy, and my Calculus teacher is an ass hole. 'Nough said.
I think that's it for real this time XD
Bye guys!
WORLD CUP!!! Yeah! I am totally into it! I go for Inglaterra (England) and Mexico (of course) and Alemania (Germany), They are my top 3, Mexico is going to lose this next round against Uruguay. Germany let me down yesterday! England let me down completely yesterday, but at least they tied or won I can't remember. U.S.A, that was an okay game, they shocked me. I really don't remember a lot about the games, considering I only watched them at school when I was supposed to be caring about other things.
I had my research class yesterday, 7a.m. - 12p.m. it's stupid, if it weren't for the $100 bonus I would have dropped it. So I'm in the 'Other' category of the research classes. I want to do something psychological, but the teacher doesn't want me to do it. He is trying to sway my opinion to something he wants. He wants us to research what he wants to learn. I am on to him, I am sort of kind of okay at this whole psychology thing.
It kind of comes naturally to me. It's very fascinating that everyone and their momma is in this field, but there has been no progress on the mind's inner working's. I dunno. I'ma little out of it. I don't know why really. I probably need to stand up and get my blood pumping, but nah.
I was planning to start exercising this week, but then the air went out that knocked me down, then I just never started again. I really don't want to start it but once I start I really don't stop, like I hate running, I hate starting but then after like 20 seconds I enjoy it, I would probably run more if my boobs weren't so annoyingly big. I mean it's just a burden. There are means to making it less annoying but, that's just a process. I know, excuses excuses, but I'll start eventually.
So, Technetium left this week! She must have already had a myocardial infarction from all the hot asian guys all over the place! Lol. She better be having the time of her life!
Oh! So I promised you guys a description of a hot guy, let's call him Maslanka, because I could have sworn that was his last name for the LONGEST time. He's this upward bound kid I've known since 9th grade, we aren't really friends, but we know each other and talk every once in a while, especially about the cup! So all the girls were obsessed with him. I mean, he's hot. He is like 5' 7" (he said it in english class the other day) He is Hispanic, he is very tan. He is very fit and looks buff, not that ugly buff but that just right buff. He has short hair, he has brown eyes that could make you melt. He takes care of himself enough to not be a slob, but enough to not be metro. He is very intellectual so you aren't with an idiot, but he is also a jock, he plays soccer and he is aways in shape, he has short shaggy hair, which totally works for him. The only down side to him, is that he is a complete show off intellectually and a know it all. Only down side. Everything else is pretty spectacular. He's a total sensitive guy too. XD Okay, so there is my male spiel, I told you I had it in me! I just couldn't think of anyone hot. Well there is this one... nah. Later
Did that bother you? You know what I'm talking about, especially if it bothered you. I didn't put a period there! Duh! hahaha, Thulium and her boyfriend were discussing that forever ago in leadership during our lunch hour. It was the funniest thing ever and adorable!
You know what I hate? Lying. I hate lying, I'd rather not say the entire truth or avoid the question completely. I really hate it. It's one of those things that I just don't like doing. I mean, I'm a professional at lying, I can lie to your face and looking you in the eye, I don;t find it hard to do, I just hate it. I lied my out of 8th grade and all of 9th grade. I really got lost in my own lies. It's just blah. I never got caught.
Now that was a prelude to my dream last night. I woke up like... woah. That was weird. One, it was my first semi homo dream. I mean, it was weird, the person it was with was even weirder, I mean said person (we'll call her Ar [I don't think that's an element.] just for the sake of this explanation.) is attractive and all, I just don't like her, nor have I ever thought about anything about it. I have my theory about why it was her, but we'll save that for later. So. The beginning I only remember parts of it. It was greatly influenced by GTA's action. I was sneaking somewhere to go get rid of the dictator who was on a train going to his home. So I had to sneak aboard the train to attempt to kill him before i GOT THERE. I was apparently a part of a rogue group of rebels against the communist dictator. So I had no weapons on me, at all, except my brain. And this was a very long process like I'm assuming months of attempts on the dictator's life that I had a montage of attempts that I had escaped. So I was on this train and I almost get caught, but the entire train had been informed that I was there, so I had to find a hiding spot fast. So I hid next to these boxes and the outside. I struggled to hold on the entire time, afraid that my team (that was apparently on the train somewhere undercover).
I eventually was caught, and I was brought into the city of the bad. I am calling it that now, because I don't know what else to call it. It's like the entire headquarters of the dictator, it was like a castle but all indoors. And all white and hi-tech. So I somehow escape and I spend some days with my team inside the headquarters in some wing that wasn't used but near the boss. So I went to go try we are just trying to survive when we are discovered, and I am a martyr and I give myself up to give my team the ability to run away, I assume they get caught either way, and I was angry. So I am taken into this room that they were going to torture me in, this guy is asking me all these questions and I had escaped with my words the first time on the train, I don't know how. But I was the leader of the rogue group and I was being interrogated and they were about to connect me to some electric things to shock the truth out of me, I panic, but I keep my cool in my mind, and I begin to ramble what sounds like the truth, I tell them that my plans were useless and that I planned to give up and give myself up to the leader and beg my forgiveness and me and my team were willing to do anything. My team mindlessly followed me and that they weren't responsible for anything and it was all my doing.
So they completely bought it. I was that convincing, the torture people went away and the second in command said he accepted my apology and told me I would have the opportunity to apologize to the leader in person later. He also told me I had to stay in that room with other prisoners (but just like in the room not really trapped or anything) and I would be shot if i tried to escape, and that it was only a precaution, I told them I understood.
So they took us out of the a little later (like night) to go eat or go the the bathroom, I'm not very sure, I just escaped and I ran over across the hall to the rooms where my undercover team was. I saw Technetium and I was panicking because I only had so much time until I was discovered outside their room. I frantically asked her where Ar was, and she gave me this confused face, because she couldn't hear me through the door. She eventually just stood up and opened the door I ran in and I was about to tear up the entire area (it was like two rooms combined by a doorway) looking for Ar, but then I was about to go in a full sprint and she popped out of the door way and her boyfriend or ex, I don't what he was in my dream, was like a foot away from her, and he was also shocked to see me and I just stopped mid step and froze. I don't know why. Like I was shocked she was totally okay. And I tried acting all tough, and I told her while I looked at the ground and I moved the imaginary dirt (like someone said, drawing Africa on the floor "You would have died in there."
(She was in the team with me in the hallway hiding out and I believe she told me not to go and get caught to give them the opportunity to escape, because it wasn't a life I wanted them to live, she tried to go with me but I had the others stop her I told her that I was the only one that would be able to endure what ever they threw at me.)
She said "I know." and looked at me with semi watery eyes as she started walked towards me very slowly and she looked down. She looked groomed and all. I think I was surprised my entire team was able to integrate with my undercover team. But I was impressed at the same time, they had done well under my unknown training. So then Ar looked up and ran towards me and glomped(YES IT IS A WORD SPELL CHECK) me. And we just hugged for an incredibly long time, just holding on like we were afraid to let go in this dangerous place and situation (this would make an awesome movie or book) and then we were somehow in the other room next to like this entire wall window where you could see outside but the people outside only saw a wall. (I said hi-tech) and then I moved the hair out of her face and she looked up at me (she in RL is was shorter than me, but in my dream she was only slightly shorter than me, like 2-3 inches) and I kissed her, like I made the first move, which I probably would never do, I'm a complete chicken. So we only kissed for a a very short amount of time, because then her what I assumed was her girlfriend popped out of no where, and started asking something.
Then after the girl friend the two doors at the ends of the connected rooms opened and men in black and black caps opened the door and yelled something, I was totally freaking out since I wasn't even supposed to be there and I couldn't bee seen in there. But they popped in and popped back out as fast as they went in. Me still holding on to Ar, I asked her what they said, since I was too busy searching for somewhere to hide in the room where it was basically impossible. She held on to my side and she let go with her other hand and looked at her suitcase that was on her bed (which I had no noticed when we somehow got into that room) and she told me that her room (which was populated by random people I didn't know) and said that her room was going to go to Disney World in Florida and the other room where Technetium was going to Disney Land in California tomorrow. I was like, "Oh right, I'm glad you signed up" and I was thinking so you could get away from this chaos and danger. It was sponsored by the school for the smartest kids and she signed up for it. I was regretting not signing up so I could get away too, but I quickly remembered I had other responsibilities that I couldn't escape either way.
So then I held her around the waist as she did something similar and then we just started rocking slightly kind of like we were dancing but her (what I assumed) girlfriend kept nagging her about something and I tried to guide us away slyly (since apparently I'm great at it in this dream) and I attempt to kiss her again, but stupid girlfriend made Ar guarded. Stupid random girlfriend, her name was like Ronda or something like that.
And then my dream ended like that, and then I moved on to my panic about Music camp, in so many words I made it like it was after school and I forgot everything and I wasn't near anyone I knew, and it was an overnight camp thing. I was crazy and Gaby guided me through the whole dream. So many inconsistencies (OH SNAP! I spelled it right) in that dream. But you know how my dreams ended, it was the music camp one and I turned around to see who's hand was around the guy next to me, and it was Thorium next to the not so scary black guy (though I was terrified of him in the beginning) and I touched his hand, because he hadn't noticed me either (black guy was going to hug his friend which is why he swatted Thorium off of him) so I touched his hand which was inches away from me and his arm was reclined against the bar of a door. (we were all sitting against the wall). He turned around slowly and then he saw me and smiled at me, like that sleepy 'Hey' smile. And then it ended with a close up of that face.
It was weird night in all.
Now! My theory as to why I dreamed it as Ar instead of someone who I actually like. I was talking to this guy I don't like, but we have a long past together, so I tolerate him talking to me. I wouldn't tolerate anyone else like him. And I was annoyed by him in the morning. I was aggravated that he was talking to me. I stopped talking to him after a while because my research teacher finally got there. He had been texting me EVERYDAY this week and I was fed up and told him straight. I swear. I should tell him I'm a lesbian to get him away. Nah, that would NOT go over well now that I think about it. But anyways, I was annoyed by him and then he sent me 'Night' around 12 an hour or so before I fell asleep. And he likes Ar and used to go on forever about not knowing whether or not to tell her. And I think my dream was revenge. Like, HA I could get her and you couldn't. And the girlfriend had a name kind of sorta not really at all close to the guy's name. So that's MY theory. Considering this dream had SO many things I have learned about this week and hinted at things I had learned about.
I think that's all. My Stat teacher is a beast. Apparently UBMS switched the trip that was originally to new york then to the southern states is back on to new york but only the people that signed up for the southern trip could go. I found out in Calculus, and I was already frustrated at the fact I didn't know anything, then to find out that, I was close to angry tears. I didn't go to the trip for the one reason it wasn't to New York as planned. EVERY COLLEGE I WANT TO GO TO IS IN NEW YORK. I mean I feel bamboozled. I feel like betrayed by the organization. I mean wtf is that. I was incredibly pissed. I love Statistics. The teacher is fun and teaches with M&M's. It's great! I can't wait for his class again. Let's see what else. I think that's it. Oh! My English teacher is a gay black guy. I don't think he identifies as gay though. But he is is SOOO gay. My Economics teacher is a really nice old white guy, he even sounds like the nicest guy ever. My Government teacher is crazy, and my Calculus teacher is an ass hole. 'Nough said.
I think that's it for real this time XD
Bye guys!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Red Blue
I AM DYING! Okay, that's a little too melodramatic. The A/C is broken. It broke last night apparently, that just sounds like horrible grammar but I'm not going to check it, and I don't know if you guys know this but the MAIN reason i want to go to college up north is because I HATE THE HEAT! I am super spoiled when it comes to air conditioning I admit it! The only way I can take the heat is when I'm in band half dead from dehydration and exhaustion and when I'm exercising. My number one enemy is the sweat I hate sweating. I don't mind the enormous drops when you are working hard outside and you are going to be doing it for hour in appropriate outside clothes, but that stupid little sweat that just pops up enough to make you sticky and nothing else, THAT'S what I hate. I don't mind hard work, I mind mediocre work. So I have the fan on, the lights off and my screenless window open(and I'm really terrified of a bug crawling/flying in).
Now that my dramatic spiel is over with, let's get on with the show! *turns fancy T.V. camera to an empty 4 seat dining room* -cricket cricket-
Yeah, nothing that fascinating, I start school tomorrow, ALL math tomorrow from 8:45a.m. to 3:30p.m. Statistics then Calculus. Joy! lol.
Guy patient:"Why would you do that?"
House:"Because I'm a mean son of a bitch." Walks away dramatically
Yeah, I'm watching it on T.V. as we speak lol. Since 7p.m.! House is officially the best show and the second best script, I have to admit The Office has an amazing script.
Lol, everyone is allowed a slight addiction to a T.V. series XD I have no doubt in my mind that I could watch HOUSE M.D. 100 times over and still not get bored!
So hm... since my parents allow me to have no life and I'm no longer a depressed teen I'm sure my posts are going to get way more boring, but I still struggle with the urge to cut, but I'm not going to bore you with that! This blog will probably be my connection to the outside world and my sanity this summer, since like I said, my parents hate seeing me happy and it'll be incredible to be able to go out to school, but I assure you my mother will not let me breathe, she will be outside the school at 3:00p.m. and I assure you she will be bothering me until I go outside and enter the car. THIS IS WHY I WANT MY FREEDOM TO DRIVE. I hate her obnoxious hypocrisy SOOOO much.
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah
I'm bored, what do you expect! And I was talk to Technetium at the same time! Probably the last time I will talk to her on the phone until the comes back from Japan in 2 weeks!
I should really take a shower right now because I hate taking showers in the morning, BUT I'm going to sweat at night. Ugh! I think I'm going to have to wake up super early and take a shower T-T I also hate morning showers. I dunno, they just don't feel the same as a shower at night. It may just be me, but just not the same. I literally delay my showers if I have time to take a shower when it's still light out I watch t.v. or do something online until it's dark. Or I find a stupid excuse to not take a shower early. This is going to SUCK! But if I'm lucky, the college will be air conditioned and everything will be happy in the world then when I get home everything will be okay and air conditioned when I get home at 4ish.
I'm really out of it considering I'm used to having air conditioning. Not even MEXICO was this hot. It's honestly ridiculous. I was out in the sun with a thick cotton shirt, actually I think I was wearing my new TWLOHA shirt, I don't really remember... ANYWAYS! I was still wearing thick jeans in the direct sunlight, and it was STILL cooler than my room. Okay, see, my room is relatively small, big enough for one person, like myself. And it's great during the winter because it gets warm FAST when it's freezing everywhere else. And during the summer it gets colder faster in my room. Now, the flaw in this plan is that when at moments like this when the air is off, my room gets hot fast and will not get cold unless cold air is forced in. I am SEARING basically. I have decided, I have to take a shower in the morning, now I get to feel all icky even AFTER I shower! With a layer of weird weirdness once I get out! Stupid stupidity! I want to take a shower now! But I don't want to wake up all icky and sweaty! DAMN YOU DECISIONS! And it's getting late!
Okay, Technetium said now. I shall do it! Yes... I am giving you a play by play on my life. And yes... it's not that exciting XD
Now that my dramatic spiel is over with, let's get on with the show! *turns fancy T.V. camera to an empty 4 seat dining room* -cricket cricket-
Yeah, nothing that fascinating, I start school tomorrow, ALL math tomorrow from 8:45a.m. to 3:30p.m. Statistics then Calculus. Joy! lol.
Guy patient:"Why would you do that?"
House:"Because I'm a mean son of a bitch." Walks away dramatically
Yeah, I'm watching it on T.V. as we speak lol. Since 7p.m.! House is officially the best show and the second best script, I have to admit The Office has an amazing script.
Lol, everyone is allowed a slight addiction to a T.V. series XD I have no doubt in my mind that I could watch HOUSE M.D. 100 times over and still not get bored!
So hm... since my parents allow me to have no life and I'm no longer a depressed teen I'm sure my posts are going to get way more boring, but I still struggle with the urge to cut, but I'm not going to bore you with that! This blog will probably be my connection to the outside world and my sanity this summer, since like I said, my parents hate seeing me happy and it'll be incredible to be able to go out to school, but I assure you my mother will not let me breathe, she will be outside the school at 3:00p.m. and I assure you she will be bothering me until I go outside and enter the car. THIS IS WHY I WANT MY FREEDOM TO DRIVE. I hate her obnoxious hypocrisy SOOOO much.
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Conformity sucks blah blah blah blah
I'm bored, what do you expect! And I was talk to Technetium at the same time! Probably the last time I will talk to her on the phone until the comes back from Japan in 2 weeks!
I should really take a shower right now because I hate taking showers in the morning, BUT I'm going to sweat at night. Ugh! I think I'm going to have to wake up super early and take a shower T-T I also hate morning showers. I dunno, they just don't feel the same as a shower at night. It may just be me, but just not the same. I literally delay my showers if I have time to take a shower when it's still light out I watch t.v. or do something online until it's dark. Or I find a stupid excuse to not take a shower early. This is going to SUCK! But if I'm lucky, the college will be air conditioned and everything will be happy in the world then when I get home everything will be okay and air conditioned when I get home at 4ish.
I'm really out of it considering I'm used to having air conditioning. Not even MEXICO was this hot. It's honestly ridiculous. I was out in the sun with a thick cotton shirt, actually I think I was wearing my new TWLOHA shirt, I don't really remember... ANYWAYS! I was still wearing thick jeans in the direct sunlight, and it was STILL cooler than my room. Okay, see, my room is relatively small, big enough for one person, like myself. And it's great during the winter because it gets warm FAST when it's freezing everywhere else. And during the summer it gets colder faster in my room. Now, the flaw in this plan is that when at moments like this when the air is off, my room gets hot fast and will not get cold unless cold air is forced in. I am SEARING basically. I have decided, I have to take a shower in the morning, now I get to feel all icky even AFTER I shower! With a layer of weird weirdness once I get out! Stupid stupidity! I want to take a shower now! But I don't want to wake up all icky and sweaty! DAMN YOU DECISIONS! And it's getting late!
Okay, Technetium said now. I shall do it! Yes... I am giving you a play by play on my life. And yes... it's not that exciting XD
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Sleep Craving
I should probably post something considering it's been a few days now.
I have been EXHAUSTED this past week. I honestly don't even know what day it is today. Have you guy's seen 'Lucky Thirteen'? It's like I think the 5th season of HOUSE M.D., well there is this chick on there and liek a whole scene where Remy is angry at the patient... wait... did they ever say her name? HOLY SHIT... THEY NEVER DID! That's so ironic XDDD I love House! I recommend this episode. It's the episode dedicated to Remy Hadley A.K.A. Thirteen and I own this episode and I know the words to it XD I have watched it THAT many time. I <3 it, well anyways, it basically goes like this
Remy: Should have known it wasn't a coincidence. I found your letters
-Drops a pile of letters on the patients food table thing-
Remy:You recognized House's name, and you're the first patient I've seen who actually enjoyed being accosted by him.
Patient: I would have told you but-
Remy:What exactly would you have told me... that you slept with me to get to House, that you've been trying to get him to take your case for over a year
Patient:I'm sick, no one even wrote back
Remy:You used me
Patient:YOU used me
Remy:My motives were clear
Patient:You might have figured out my motives faster if you'd bothered to ask my name
-Remy glares at the Patient seething-
I followed you to that bar because I wanted to talk to you. See if you'd help me get to House. I didn't expect you to be so... aggressive
Remy:Was that seizure even real?!
Patient:Why would I fake a symptom, that would just make it harder for House to diagnose me.
Remy:There's nothing to diagnose, your biopsy results were negative.
Patient:Then it's something else.
Remy:Get dressed I'm discharging you.
-Throws clothes at patient-
Patient:House admitted me. He obviously thinks-!
Remy:House is using you as an excuse to stick his nose in my personal life
Patient:I'm tired all the time! Some nights I fall asleep at 10 and wake up at noon, still tired! Every doctor I see tells me there's nothing wrong.
Remy:And that proves what exactly? That their wrong or you're wrong?
-Patient starts breathing raggedly-
Remy:Come on you expect me to believe-
-machines start beeping-
Remy:Sit back, deep breaths, try to relax
Get the paddles, she's going to crash... Damn.
Okay so that is there only for the last 10 lines, I believe, about the falling asleep early and waking up late and still being tired. But yeah, that's what I feel ALL the time. And it's that long, one, because that's the entire scene, and two, I could have sworn she said that in the beginning of the scene and it turns out that it's at the end, and I was NOT going to backspace all that hard work XD
My favorite line of this episode you may ask, well! I'm glad you asked XD
Foreman:You always want more info about people
Look where we are.
Purse is clean
-looking through 13's apartment in silence-
House:Last night isn't the first time that Thirteen brought home some strange.
Foreman:You find her diary?
House:No toys, sleep with the same person over and over is when you need accessories. First time is plenty exciting on it's own
Unless, you think an asthma inhaler can be used as a sex toy?
-sprays-
Foreman:There are ways of getting to know people with out committing felonies.
House:People interest me, conversations don't.
Foreman:Cause conversations go both ways
...
Foreman and House:Like Thirteen.
Just the last 3 lines this time, but I felt like setting it up. I thought it was hilarious XD
It's 11 p.m. and I'm tired, what do you expect?
Before I fall asleep I should actually touch on my personal life. I've been at Leadership and Music Theory the past few days, waking up at 7 to get there at 8 and then go to leadership at 9 and work until 4 with an hour for lunch. So it's pretty much been all I've done. I haven't really communicated with the world other than the leadership team and the band directors. I've talked to Technetium a bit, more like broken conversation, but she's busy with preparation to go to Japan on Monday, and I've pretty much have fallen asleep after I ate dinner, sometimes not even dinner, just a shower and fall asleep involuntarily.
House to Foreman:That's because you haven't done anything stupid, spontaneous, or even vaguely interesting since you were 17 and that's just sad.
It is a hilarious scene you should really watch this episode, it's awesome.
Other than that, I've pretty much gone to the band hall and then I went home and slept then woke up to the band hall then I went home to shower and maybe eat then sleep.
I loved and hated it.
BEST EPISODE EVER!!! Man they even said the fake prostitutes name and not the patients! I love it XD
Too many favorite lines in this, let's just say I love this ENTIRE episode. This and House Divided, and the one where Thirteen wanted to die and then she could have and then she decided she didn't want to.
Okay. So my life has been boring. More hope for tomorrow!
I have been EXHAUSTED this past week. I honestly don't even know what day it is today. Have you guy's seen 'Lucky Thirteen'? It's like I think the 5th season of HOUSE M.D., well there is this chick on there and liek a whole scene where Remy is angry at the patient... wait... did they ever say her name? HOLY SHIT... THEY NEVER DID! That's so ironic XDDD I love House! I recommend this episode. It's the episode dedicated to Remy Hadley A.K.A. Thirteen and I own this episode and I know the words to it XD I have watched it THAT many time. I <3 it, well anyways, it basically goes like this
Remy: Should have known it wasn't a coincidence. I found your letters
-Drops a pile of letters on the patients food table thing-
Remy:You recognized House's name, and you're the first patient I've seen who actually enjoyed being accosted by him.
Patient: I would have told you but-
Remy:What exactly would you have told me... that you slept with me to get to House, that you've been trying to get him to take your case for over a year
Patient:I'm sick, no one even wrote back
Remy:You used me
Patient:YOU used me
Remy:My motives were clear
Patient:You might have figured out my motives faster if you'd bothered to ask my name
-Remy glares at the Patient seething-
I followed you to that bar because I wanted to talk to you. See if you'd help me get to House. I didn't expect you to be so... aggressive
Remy:Was that seizure even real?!
Patient:Why would I fake a symptom, that would just make it harder for House to diagnose me.
Remy:There's nothing to diagnose, your biopsy results were negative.
Patient:Then it's something else.
Remy:Get dressed I'm discharging you.
-Throws clothes at patient-
Patient:House admitted me. He obviously thinks-!
Remy:House is using you as an excuse to stick his nose in my personal life
Patient:I'm tired all the time! Some nights I fall asleep at 10 and wake up at noon, still tired! Every doctor I see tells me there's nothing wrong.
Remy:And that proves what exactly? That their wrong or you're wrong?
-Patient starts breathing raggedly-
Remy:Come on you expect me to believe-
-machines start beeping-
Remy:Sit back, deep breaths, try to relax
Get the paddles, she's going to crash... Damn.
Okay so that is there only for the last 10 lines, I believe, about the falling asleep early and waking up late and still being tired. But yeah, that's what I feel ALL the time. And it's that long, one, because that's the entire scene, and two, I could have sworn she said that in the beginning of the scene and it turns out that it's at the end, and I was NOT going to backspace all that hard work XD
My favorite line of this episode you may ask, well! I'm glad you asked XD
Foreman:You always want more info about people
Look where we are.
Purse is clean
-looking through 13's apartment in silence-
House:Last night isn't the first time that Thirteen brought home some strange.
Foreman:You find her diary?
House:No toys, sleep with the same person over and over is when you need accessories. First time is plenty exciting on it's own
Unless, you think an asthma inhaler can be used as a sex toy?
-sprays-
Foreman:There are ways of getting to know people with out committing felonies.
House:People interest me, conversations don't.
Foreman:Cause conversations go both ways
...
Foreman and House:Like Thirteen.
Just the last 3 lines this time, but I felt like setting it up. I thought it was hilarious XD
It's 11 p.m. and I'm tired, what do you expect?
Before I fall asleep I should actually touch on my personal life. I've been at Leadership and Music Theory the past few days, waking up at 7 to get there at 8 and then go to leadership at 9 and work until 4 with an hour for lunch. So it's pretty much been all I've done. I haven't really communicated with the world other than the leadership team and the band directors. I've talked to Technetium a bit, more like broken conversation, but she's busy with preparation to go to Japan on Monday, and I've pretty much have fallen asleep after I ate dinner, sometimes not even dinner, just a shower and fall asleep involuntarily.
House to Foreman:That's because you haven't done anything stupid, spontaneous, or even vaguely interesting since you were 17 and that's just sad.
It is a hilarious scene you should really watch this episode, it's awesome.
Other than that, I've pretty much gone to the band hall and then I went home and slept then woke up to the band hall then I went home to shower and maybe eat then sleep.
I loved and hated it.
BEST EPISODE EVER!!! Man they even said the fake prostitutes name and not the patients! I love it XD
Too many favorite lines in this, let's just say I love this ENTIRE episode. This and House Divided, and the one where Thirteen wanted to die and then she could have and then she decided she didn't want to.
Okay. So my life has been boring. More hope for tomorrow!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Post Modern Sleaze
I can't believe I'm officially a senior now... dude that's crazy! Freshman year feels like it was only a few days ago! I feel like I haven't learned the way of life yet! I was a sophomore not so long ago! Ah! The years are just passing by, it's going to suck leaving for college, these people I've known for literal YEARS, I'm never going to see again. The people I've known since I started school not knowing english, I'm never going to see again, granted I don't talk to them as much, but at least I see them! It's such a bummer thinking about all these great relationships I've created with people are just going to be severed.
It's what I wanted right? At least I think it's what I want. I wanted to start anew in a new city and town away from everyone I knew to start a life where I could be myself. But... I don't know anymore really. We'll see how this upcoming year goes. Ah, what a bummer.
Well! On a happier note I'M ALIVE!!! I did not get shot or die! I calmed down by the time we reached mexico. It's almost how I remembered it! Except less people outside and more army people and way less traffic XD Mexico and the valley were fun! I spent most of my time there not saying a word bored out of my mind. But listening to the adult's gossip. I shopped! I know that is such a foreign concept on here XD I really don't have anything against shopping, I actually do enjoy it! It's just the whole, black people clothes every where you turn, around here. Not that there is anything wrong with it, it's just that there's only so much South Pole and Baby Phat you can look at with out feeling nauseated. I prefer regular clothes that don't make you look slutish :D
I bought a couple of bags a HELL of a lot of nail polish from my tia's indoor shop! I swore that I would post pictures, but I'm too lazy to find the card right now XD so I'll post them in their own special little post! I FINALLY found TWLOHA shirts! I bought two! the purple one and the black and pink one! And I bought the other wrist band! I have so much crap from them now :] I also bought a rainbow music note sticker! It looks AWESOME! But I don't know where to stick it and yes, that is what he said XD and I do realize that the bi pride colors are purple and pink I think, something like that, but I find the rainbow way more cheerful :) I also bought a new belt! I STILL haven't found a red and black belt though XD it's so annoying! I bought a new wallet too! It actually fits in my pocket! All in all I had fun!
So I'm starting my new (well old really) work out regimen next week! I'm using this week as a lax week. But I do have leadership and Music Theory, I like it. I have no problems spending that time in band doing all of that work :D I never thought I would enjoy doing that type of work, but I love my band and I would do what ever to help them succeed!
I have so much more to say! But I am honestly exhausted! So I will have to continue this tomorrow. Bye!!!
It's what I wanted right? At least I think it's what I want. I wanted to start anew in a new city and town away from everyone I knew to start a life where I could be myself. But... I don't know anymore really. We'll see how this upcoming year goes. Ah, what a bummer.
Well! On a happier note I'M ALIVE!!! I did not get shot or die! I calmed down by the time we reached mexico. It's almost how I remembered it! Except less people outside and more army people and way less traffic XD Mexico and the valley were fun! I spent most of my time there not saying a word bored out of my mind. But listening to the adult's gossip. I shopped! I know that is such a foreign concept on here XD I really don't have anything against shopping, I actually do enjoy it! It's just the whole, black people clothes every where you turn, around here. Not that there is anything wrong with it, it's just that there's only so much South Pole and Baby Phat you can look at with out feeling nauseated. I prefer regular clothes that don't make you look slutish :D
I bought a couple of bags a HELL of a lot of nail polish from my tia's indoor shop! I swore that I would post pictures, but I'm too lazy to find the card right now XD so I'll post them in their own special little post! I FINALLY found TWLOHA shirts! I bought two! the purple one and the black and pink one! And I bought the other wrist band! I have so much crap from them now :] I also bought a rainbow music note sticker! It looks AWESOME! But I don't know where to stick it and yes, that is what he said XD and I do realize that the bi pride colors are purple and pink I think, something like that, but I find the rainbow way more cheerful :) I also bought a new belt! I STILL haven't found a red and black belt though XD it's so annoying! I bought a new wallet too! It actually fits in my pocket! All in all I had fun!
So I'm starting my new (well old really) work out regimen next week! I'm using this week as a lax week. But I do have leadership and Music Theory, I like it. I have no problems spending that time in band doing all of that work :D I never thought I would enjoy doing that type of work, but I love my band and I would do what ever to help them succeed!
I have so much more to say! But I am honestly exhausted! So I will have to continue this tomorrow. Bye!!!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Dancing
So let's see. Today was pretty cool actually! My last day of Junior year! Ah! I survived! Now to have a great senior year! And then A KICK ASS SUMMER of pure PARTYING! Ah, only a year away! Until FREEDOM!
So! Today I started off with getting some breakfast and hanging out a bit with Technetium then we went to the band hall to chill. I was sucked into cleaning and working XD
Then I did that until the next period when Tungsten got out. She drove us to Staples where we spent a good hour going crazy. Then we went to Best buy where Tungsten kicked Technetium's ass at a Street Fighter demo, one hit K.O. lol
Then Tungsten had to go to class, I went to go get my Yearbook (after MONTHS) and the hung out at the band hall where me and Florine were planning to go buy things for our section (total FAIL) We stayed in the band hall where we got stuck organizing books (Total buzz kill) so then we did that and then we just hung out until we left to eat.
Taco bell with Florine and Yt for about an hour, that was pretty cool. Then a walk back where I FINALLY bought my wine stoppers! Then back to the band hall!!! I do believe we are seeing a trend here XD
I assigned lockers and such and yeah, that was about it. That's how I ended my day. I went home on the bus, which was full of ignorant ghetto stupid people who the world would not miss if they died.
And now I'm at home!
You know what my favorite part of wine is? It's that if you keep it on your tongue with out it touching anything but your palate and you can actually taste it, and then a little hit's the underside of your tongue and you swallow feeling the burn of the wine a little on your tongue and then the burn on you feel as it goes down your throat and the bit afterwards. I love it! rofl, I wonder if real alcohol is like that, not just wine!
I go to Mexico tomorrow! We're leaving at 8 a.m.! WTF! I was like, I don't even get to sleep in!!! SUCKS, because mexico is ALL early mornings! That sucks! rofl
OMG Girly is going to end!!! I'm so sad! I love that online comic! It's sooo good though!!!! this is so frustrating! Now what am I going to read?! Stupid Girly!
I found my 'moms' calculus notes!!! A notebook and a few pages in another full of pure calculus!!! It's great! I get to learn from her ahead of time! AH! I love her!!!
Ah! I am beyond RELIEVED! My period came today! A week late but it came! That other time I mentioned it was a fluke, don't ask how, it just was, and I am so HAPPY! It's never been late this long though, I wonder what's up. Eh, I guess, I'm still a teen it happens.
Now I'm going to drink a little more, maybe a little smoke. some more destructive behavior, it's all good. EDIT: So I decided against the whole destructive behavior, I'm not going to die and nothing bad is going to happen over there! Optimism, but I can't help but think of the worst.
So there is this school I really want to go to. I mean REALLY go to. It's called Interlochen. It's a boarding school in Michigan. It's an arts academy. I love it, I fell in love with it when I read about it. I would love to go there! I mean, I love science, but music is just something that has done so much for me.
Okay, so you know when you have a song stuck in your head? I don't know about other people but I can hear an exact replica of the song in my head, the lyrics not so much, but I have the music the exact same way in my head. Well, okay imagine how you feel when you have a song stuck in your head, now imagine having a song in your head, a symphony something like Troika by Tchaikovsky or Beethoven's 5th something on that scale in detail. Now, imagine that it's a song you've never heard before but it's in your head, you can hear all the notes, you can see all the colors, the story, and only you can hear it and you can't share it with the world, this new piece of amazing music can't be shared, you can't see it or even hear it, but it's there you can hear it in your mind and it's driving you crazy that you can't share what your mind just created.
That's how I feel, all the time, I have stopped the process of me thinking about it. But I assure you if I think of a chord a symphony will be created, but I can't write it down because I'm not that advanced, I haven't learned how to identify notes, it's not a talent I've been able to acquire. I can't write down what I can hear, and it kills me because some of it will never come back. And yes, my mind has created a 20 minute orchestra before, and I've NEVER heard a cello or violin (at least at the time it happened) in person but they somehow appeared in the music in great detail. It's so FRUSTRATING. And music theory has helped me know that I'm not crazy, there are people that hear music in their head and it bothers them enough until they are forced to write it down. And I know studying music theory and music composition will help me, I'm going to take a piano class too it helps me identify notes better too. And anything that can help me learn that will interest me and Interlochen is just amazing.
So that it until I'm back from my 'vacation' Bye for several days!
So! Today I started off with getting some breakfast and hanging out a bit with Technetium then we went to the band hall to chill. I was sucked into cleaning and working XD
Then I did that until the next period when Tungsten got out. She drove us to Staples where we spent a good hour going crazy. Then we went to Best buy where Tungsten kicked Technetium's ass at a Street Fighter demo, one hit K.O. lol
Then Tungsten had to go to class, I went to go get my Yearbook (after MONTHS) and the hung out at the band hall where me and Florine were planning to go buy things for our section (total FAIL) We stayed in the band hall where we got stuck organizing books (Total buzz kill) so then we did that and then we just hung out until we left to eat.
Taco bell with Florine and Yt for about an hour, that was pretty cool. Then a walk back where I FINALLY bought my wine stoppers! Then back to the band hall!!! I do believe we are seeing a trend here XD
I assigned lockers and such and yeah, that was about it. That's how I ended my day. I went home on the bus, which was full of ignorant ghetto stupid people who the world would not miss if they died.
And now I'm at home!
You know what my favorite part of wine is? It's that if you keep it on your tongue with out it touching anything but your palate and you can actually taste it, and then a little hit's the underside of your tongue and you swallow feeling the burn of the wine a little on your tongue and then the burn on you feel as it goes down your throat and the bit afterwards. I love it! rofl, I wonder if real alcohol is like that, not just wine!
I go to Mexico tomorrow! We're leaving at 8 a.m.! WTF! I was like, I don't even get to sleep in!!! SUCKS, because mexico is ALL early mornings! That sucks! rofl
OMG Girly is going to end!!! I'm so sad! I love that online comic! It's sooo good though!!!! this is so frustrating! Now what am I going to read?! Stupid Girly!
I found my 'moms' calculus notes!!! A notebook and a few pages in another full of pure calculus!!! It's great! I get to learn from her ahead of time! AH! I love her!!!
Ah! I am beyond RELIEVED! My period came today! A week late but it came! That other time I mentioned it was a fluke, don't ask how, it just was, and I am so HAPPY! It's never been late this long though, I wonder what's up. Eh, I guess, I'm still a teen it happens.
Now I'm going to drink a little more, maybe a little smoke. some more destructive behavior, it's all good. EDIT: So I decided against the whole destructive behavior, I'm not going to die and nothing bad is going to happen over there! Optimism, but I can't help but think of the worst.
So there is this school I really want to go to. I mean REALLY go to. It's called Interlochen. It's a boarding school in Michigan. It's an arts academy. I love it, I fell in love with it when I read about it. I would love to go there! I mean, I love science, but music is just something that has done so much for me.
Okay, so you know when you have a song stuck in your head? I don't know about other people but I can hear an exact replica of the song in my head, the lyrics not so much, but I have the music the exact same way in my head. Well, okay imagine how you feel when you have a song stuck in your head, now imagine having a song in your head, a symphony something like Troika by Tchaikovsky or Beethoven's 5th something on that scale in detail. Now, imagine that it's a song you've never heard before but it's in your head, you can hear all the notes, you can see all the colors, the story, and only you can hear it and you can't share it with the world, this new piece of amazing music can't be shared, you can't see it or even hear it, but it's there you can hear it in your mind and it's driving you crazy that you can't share what your mind just created.
That's how I feel, all the time, I have stopped the process of me thinking about it. But I assure you if I think of a chord a symphony will be created, but I can't write it down because I'm not that advanced, I haven't learned how to identify notes, it's not a talent I've been able to acquire. I can't write down what I can hear, and it kills me because some of it will never come back. And yes, my mind has created a 20 minute orchestra before, and I've NEVER heard a cello or violin (at least at the time it happened) in person but they somehow appeared in the music in great detail. It's so FRUSTRATING. And music theory has helped me know that I'm not crazy, there are people that hear music in their head and it bothers them enough until they are forced to write it down. And I know studying music theory and music composition will help me, I'm going to take a piano class too it helps me identify notes better too. And anything that can help me learn that will interest me and Interlochen is just amazing.
So that it until I'm back from my 'vacation' Bye for several days!
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