Life is frustrating right now. You know, I fucking love girls right? Like I would love and marry the shit out of a girl. Well, I feel like I'm in high school all over again and just hiding behind the closet door. I know no one thinks I'm gay, why? Because the girl I hang out the most with called her friend way more liberal than me, and she started out with saying how she was a lesbian unlike me. I'm not hiding if someone asked I would say yeah, I'm about 80% girl loving 20% guy loving. So, it's bothering I have NO one to talk to about these gay feelings just emitting from my every pore. Like if it weren't for my physical attraction to girls I would forget I was basically a lesbian because that's how much I restrain myself. I do, however, do the guy thing and appreciate a girl with really legs, and butt and body. One can't help it. But, seriously bothering the fuck out of me. To add on to frustration, Gil and I haven't spoken in about 2 weeks, if not more. I actually do miss him a lot, considering he just knows me, and I know him. We had good talks he could tell me anything I could tell him anything, it was great you know? But I'm sure he's found a great community of friends and I'm stuck with the anti-social crowd. Always the fucking anti-social crowd. Tara hates everything and complains about everything, Katie hates people and prefers not to socialize, Julianne(I actually have a slight crush on her) is socially awkward. I wish I would have joined a sorority considering they are actually bad ass here and not just drunk ass holes like at other schools. I want to speak to him. But he's moved on and probably no longer even thinks about silly old me. Story of my fucking life. No friends and no ability to get a girlfriend due to the fact I have some lame ass appeal and there are almost no lesbians here.