boo

This will be a short update...

So Soubi is officially a bastard. We are no longer friends, because he decided I couldn't accept his 'change' which I have no idea what it was. Because the only change I saw was him being more of an intolerant douche. I really don't think he remembers the shit he put me through at the beginning of our friendship. And then the shit he put me through a month or so ago when he decided to never reply or try to talk to me. So I'm pretty sure my pile of intolerable things I did wasn't even half of the shit he made me go through.

I won;t lie I was strongly considering breaking up the friendship when I saw that all he was interested in was nothing and we basically had no friendship, he only told me about how I should have talked to him first and that it was my fault and stupid things that I didn't need to hear. He bitched that I didn't contribute, but our ENTIRE friendship he almost NEVER contributed to our conversations. So I assumed he could live with it for a few months. But what ever. I'm completely at peace with this. It just angers me at the way he did it and for the reasons he did it, and HE'S the one who looks at me ugly and ignored me first. I was going to ignore him also, and the ugly face I give him when I think, see, or hear him is involuntary. You would be angry too.

I am lonlier, and I lost a good person to talk to, but it's only about a year and a couple of months until I graduate. I'll survive, I survived all of my first two year of high school with out someone like Soubi, I can survive another year. College will be my new start. And I can't wait, maybe I'll actually be happy.

I PASSED PHYSICS! I was so happy. At UIL yesterday, I got two 1's, one on my solo, the other on my ensemble. I was so pissed at my ensemble though, but that's in the past. On the bright side, I get my license next week! Yay!!!

Hm... that's about all I have to say in this blog.

Adios!

Past the Point of No Return

Wow, I'm a reckless soul.

Soubi and I made up this week. It's different between us. It was like a month we didn't talk, so I sould expect much more, I'm just hoping we go back to normal, but I'm used to not talking to anyone and getting through things by myself. I went through Friend's thing alone and I'm choosing to not tell him about Donk's thing.

Just to throw it out there, I really HATE it when people ask me if I'm okay or what's wrong. No one cared when I was actually having problems and now is nothing compared to back then, so just don't ask me if "I'm okay" I'll live, okay, I got through it alone back then, I can do it now.

So Soubi was like, what's wrong, yesterday after I was short with him because I was honestly not in the mood it had been a long week and I wasn't used to talking to people that I cared for, and I was talking to someone planning other things. I told him I was just stressed, which I was the 15ish hours I slept that day proved it. He didn't drop it, we argued and then I knocked out.

I know I know, we are always fighting but I can't help it, we are both stubborn and want something different from the other.

So on a brighter note... ... hold on I'm trying to think of one... ... Oh! I can identify intervals better! ... ... ... ... That's about it... ... ... Wow, that sucks lol. I'm sure better news shall come but my week was, stressing about grades, stressing about homework, stressing about registering for classes, stressing over my overall everyday schedule, stressing about classes, stressing about my future, and stressing about my council meeting (which I am so sure I did badly in). So I had a REALLY long week, with a REALLY sucky ending. But I think me and Soubi are cool right now. That all I really care to write, I must sound so horrible and like a bitch, lol. Oh well, everyone has their own opinion.

Yuki has no idea who she is!

really old post

Ah!!!! Threesome between Vanessa Dan and What ever hilary duff's character's name is. EW!!!! Worst pairing EVER! The Dan part killed everything! I mean, I really hate Dan, even when he was with Serina (who is really pissing me off now). So yeah. I could so not watch it at all. It was like ICKY! I peeked once to see if it was to the next scene it was Dan going towards Vanessa, I almost gagged. It was shocking. So yeah. Talking about odd pairings that would be going-

OMG NEXT EPISODE WILL BE AWKWARD AND VENEGEFUL AS HELL!!! HELL YEAH!!!

Buty yeah as I was saying, during lunch we were talking about weird couples and fav couples in Harry Potter Fanfics (because there are so many characters in that book) I love my friends on days like this. None of my friends have commented on how Gil is back and we are talking again. I love that guy. Oh crap, I never told you guys! Yeah, me and Gil FINALLY made up, long story short he texted me and we made up, then we argued, and I fell asleep. Deja Vu? But yeah, I think things will improve in our friendship now. I didn't text him today, he got out of practice at 7 p.m. so I'm sure he's tired, no need to bother him for the time being.

I am almost done downloading Sims 2! LEGALLY! Three hours left! man! I swear it's been downloading since the weekend, it's 4.3GB and yes, for you nerd like me, it is more than WOW

Happiness is Overrated.

So I've avidly kept up with this blog! I'm very proud of myself! I'm even more proud of my self since I've kept the code names!

So yesterday? Lax, then stressful. I totally watched this episode (and bought it) of intervention, It was like wow, she is way better now, but wow. Yesterday I also did something that I've done before it's stupid, but I'll do it again and again, I'll probably never stop. But that's all you need to know about that.

I wrote my rough draft of my scholarship essay, after a REALLY long day. It was really informal though. I liked it to some extent and it put across what I want. It was really straight forward in that part, idk, I'll post it later when I can be bothered to type it up.

I should be doing Physics, but I'm not, I'm totally going to FAIL. Oh well, I haven't passed a test yet, so why start now?

Today I was AMAZING! Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I totally did an awesome job. So we had this AP U.S. History project, read ten articles, annotate them, answer two essay questions in essay form (2-3 pages) use the articles and cite them. Two essays, two rough drafts. So okay. I did one essay at like 11 p.m. and I started the second essay and got around half of it done. I woke up at 5 a.m. 30 minutes earlier than usual to finish my second essay, it was the longer of the two and I finished it looked it over printed both of them and caught the bus, but that's not the awesome part. I had to still do the rough drafts and annotate the articles (they were relatively short a page or two) so I started it in english, I got like a paragraph done there. But my home group are a bunch of idiot that don't understand MacBeth. I mean we were in Act 1 scene 2 and they were totally lost. I was like *head desk*. So not much done, in 3rd period I went to town! In my 45 minute class I finished writing both rough drafts I annotated the articles AND I did the correction thing on my rough draft, It was awesome. My friend Skele was liek in total shock that, me the procrastinator, finished everything with time to spare. It was like awesome. I was half paying attention in class anyways, and I answered several questions. Skele was in sincere shock, and honestly so was I. I felt hopeless, and really like crying half way through the class. I didn't think I would be able to do it. And yet I did. That's bad ass.

That was my adventure for the day.

Soubi is still being a bastard. I want to say I really don't care, but I do, I hate it. THREE people asked me today something about him. Donk asked me if it was going to last any longer while walking to 4th. Dull asked me if I knew what was up with him during class. Martinez asked me where he was and to tell him to be there. People I am TRYING TO FORGET HIM! Stop asking! I know he's not going to try, and I'm tired of trying, so this isn't going to end well. He probably think I don't care anymore, and that I've been lying the whole time. Ugh, if only he knew. If it hasn't sounded like it, I really care about him, he was my best friend, I can relate so much to him. But I have to forget him, if not it'll hurt... more...

So I'm talking to everyone and putting a smile on my face and laughing at all the jokes and attempt to act normally. Because I REALLY hate when people ask, "Are you okay?". I have a blog from like a few months ago when like A MILLION PEOPLE asked me, "Are you okay?" I almost smacked someone. If you need to know, I'll tell you. But honestly, I'm not going to tell anyone. So how about you not even try, population. My problems go down deep.

Anything else? I don't think so. Oh! I have a sore throat and we are working on aural skills and singing tomorrow, oh joy, this is not going to go over well.

Sometime Around Midnight

Early post today, mostly because I know nothing of interest will happen today.

I had an interesting conversation with Mai today. And a funny conversation with Fox.

I'm supposed to be doing my project but blah. I have a headache. My finger still hurts from that stupid prick to measure my blood sugar for giving blood.

I need to buy new band-Aides REMINDER!!!

Yeah, I never remember to do anything like buy things, unless I write it down, I've needed band-aides for a while now, and I still haven't bought them.

Soubi is still being a douche, I still can't but help to think that when my phone vibrates it's going to be him apologizing. What ever. I've survived with out a person to talk to, and I can do it again.

The Airborne Toxic Event is an awesome band!!! Gracias Revolution.

I'm such a slacker XP

You Gotta Lick It

So, this'll be short.

Soubi hasn't said a word to me yet. I refuse to give in. That must sound so bitchy, but in reality, I'm always the one who has to say sorry, even if it's not my fault. So I'm taking a stand this time. He can come to me, because I can live with or with out him (I think/hope).

So Yuki finally gave me her explanation of her code name for me. XD

If she misses that clue, I may just have to literally spell it out for her.

Those websites I found are AWESOME! And I'm so totally using them, when I'm older. I'm going to post them on here, so I don't loose them, so just totally ignore the bottom of this post, unless the curiosity is really killing you, then go for it.

I think that's it. Nothing all that interesting today.

http://www.angryyoungandpoor.com/store/pc/home.asp

http://www.asos.com/

http://www.etsy.com/

http://us.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/TopCategoriesDisplay?storeId=13052&catalogId=32051

http://heavyred.com/

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http://www.asiajam.com/

http://www.newlook.co.uk/navigation/homepage.aspx

http://shop.pacsun.com/home.jsp

http://80spurple.com/

http://www.brownsfashion.com/default.asp?&cookie_test=1

http://www.shopplasticland.com/

http://www.missselfridge.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/TopCategoriesDisplay?storeId=12554&catalogId=20555

http://www.mytheresa.com/shop/home.php

http://www.freepeople.com/

http://www.infectiousthreads.com/

http://www.yesstyle.com/en/home.html

http://americanapparel.net/

http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/index.jsp

http://bananarepublic.gap.com/

http://www.bbycks.com/

http://www.net-a-porter.com/

http://store.delias.com/frontpage.do

http://www.dollydagger.co.uk/

http://www.modcloth.com/

http://www.forever21.com/Default.asp?cookie_test=1

http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Homepage.jsp

http://oldnavy.gap.com/?

http://www.urbanbehavior.com/#/Style/index/f

http://www.6dollarshirts.com/t-shirts/

http://www.gap.com/

http://www.roxy.com/home/index.jsp

http://wetseal.com/home.jsp

http://www.luckybrand.com/

http://www.findcoolclothes.com/

http://www.fredflare.com/customer/home_jenk.php?siteID=

http://www.shanalogic.com/

http://www.debshops.com/home/index.jsp

http://www.macys.com/

http://store.alloy.com/frontpage.do?commTrack=shopChannelNowFromStyle&incmpid=alloyTopNavshop

http://www.naughtysecretaryclub.com/shop/

http://www.bluebanana.com/home.php

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/index.jsp

http://www.cherryredboutique.com/

http://www.pink-ribbon-store.com/store/catalog/

http://www.girlprops.com/RetailScience/page1

http://www.tillys.com/tillys/

http://www.betseyjohnson.com/

http://www.2cutestore.com/

http://www.toofastonline.com/?affiliateid=10085

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/shop#foo

http://www.goodgoth.com/

And before you think it, yes, I have heard of some of these before, because come one... Macy's? But I'll never EVER type it in, but I will click it lol.

Blue Banana

So today has been interesting. Actually, not really. Just weird things. So I was in there bathroom when I heard my parents talking, and they were talking about me. And it was about over me and my single status. They do believe I've never had a boyfriend. It's funny really. I've had three boyfriends and two weird relationships. I sincerely thought it was absolutely hilarious. Ha... if only they knew.

He REFUSES to talk to me first. I'm getting sick and tired of us fighting and him not even trying to reconcile. In his mind it's ALL my fault. It's my fault for getting on him when he was in a bad mood, it's MY fault for arguing him when he was already in an arguing mood, and it's not my fault for saying I would fix him. In his head it's ALL my fault. Stupid. I really HATE and LOATHE him sometimes. He MAKES the world revolve around him. Sure he had a shit childhood and shit parents, but I know PLENTY of people with with equally shit childhood's. And yeah, I know, there are plenty of reasons why he went off the beaten path, I'm number one in making excuses for my actions. But seriously? Is it really MY fault I don't feel crippling pity for you? You're not making it any easier. Blah, so enough about him.

Man, sometimes I wish I could be more like Fiend. She is so open with everything she does. I don't have the luxury of just being honest abut absolutely everything. It's mostly my fault for doing stupid things with stupid people. What isn't my fault, is that the world is like the most judgmental thing in the world. But what ever. College is coming! And I get to be me.

On that subject. I cannot wait until college. Okay, so you see. I really HATE my mothers food. It's greasy and yucky and tastes good but horrible for you, it always makes me gag, knowing I'm putting that in my body. I would so much rather go back to my old eating habits in the summer before 9th grade, when I was a vegetarian. And I only ate chicken and turkey so my mother would stop bitching at me for never eating her food. I was a true vegetarian for a month or so. I loved it. It was simple and I was doing good for my body. In reality I'm pretty sure I could live on fake meat, fruits and vegetables for the rest of my life. It's way easier to prepare and way healthier. Reason I stopped, marching band and because I was really about to murder my mother if she made one more comment about my eating habits. I needed a lot of protein(which you really don't get when you're a vegetarian) and iron (which you do get but it's more prominent in meaty things) and I needed that for marching band. So I ate meat and things that would be worked off anyways. In college I will be able to exercise regularly like before! My parents always bitch and have irregular schedules so I can never exercise in their room (where the tread mill and etc. are) Let's just say it's my parents fault for a lot of things. College is going to be a huge change for me, it'll be ridiculous. I really want to be the person I've always wanted to be. lol That's an example of a Rhetorical term I should know, but I don't. XD Honard would kill me!

Oh! So today I was in the fashion section (I know right?) on this website I love, and some one had posted this game where you post a picture of something you would buy and then post a different website for the next one to choose something they would buy and then they would post a website and so on and so forth. So yeah, it was like a GOLD MINE for online shopping lol. I never really thought I was a fan, but I am. I just have that punkish style (that no one knows of) Mostly because of the obvious factor or me not liking myself, two, I'd probably give my parents a heart attack.

Funny isn't it? How much my parents have limited me. And they LOVE to talk about it behind my back, about how I never go out, or how I'm not in a relationship, and stupid things like that, when I don't ask to go out any where anymore because I know my mother will be a bitch and say she doesn't want to drive me and like I would EVER tell my mother I'm in a relationship. Me and my parents have absolutely NO relationship, I loathe my mother, and I am angry at my father for never being in my life and thinking he has a right to joke around with me. I love them to an extent, but I've really had enough of them.