He REFUSES to talk to me first. I'm getting sick and tired of us fighting and him not even trying to reconcile. In his mind it's ALL my fault. It's my fault for getting on him when he was in a bad mood, it's MY fault for arguing him when he was already in an arguing mood, and it's not my fault for saying I would fix him. In his head it's ALL my fault. Stupid. I really HATE and LOATHE him sometimes. He MAKES the world revolve around him. Sure he had a shit childhood and shit parents, but I know PLENTY of people with with equally shit childhood's. And yeah, I know, there are plenty of reasons why he went off the beaten path, I'm number one in making excuses for my actions. But seriously? Is it really MY fault I don't feel crippling pity for you? You're not making it any easier. Blah, so enough about him.
Man, sometimes I wish I could be more like Fiend. She is so open with everything she does. I don't have the luxury of just being honest abut absolutely everything. It's mostly my fault for doing stupid things with stupid people. What isn't my fault, is that the world is like the most judgmental thing in the world. But what ever. College is coming! And I get to be me.
On that subject. I cannot wait until college. Okay, so you see. I really HATE my mothers food. It's greasy and yucky and tastes good but horrible for you, it always makes me gag, knowing I'm putting that in my body. I would so much rather go back to my old eating habits in the summer before 9th grade, when I was a vegetarian. And I only ate chicken and turkey so my mother would stop bitching at me for never eating her food. I was a true vegetarian for a month or so. I loved it. It was simple and I was doing good for my body. In reality I'm pretty sure I could live on fake meat, fruits and vegetables for the rest of my life. It's way easier to prepare and way healthier. Reason I stopped, marching band and because I was really about to murder my mother if she made one more comment about my eating habits. I needed a lot of protein(which you really don't get when you're a vegetarian) and iron (which you do get but it's more prominent in meaty things) and I needed that for marching band. So I ate meat and things that would be worked off anyways. In college I will be able to exercise regularly like before! My parents always bitch and have irregular schedules so I can never exercise in their room (where the tread mill and etc. are) Let's just say it's my parents fault for a lot of things. College is going to be a huge change for me, it'll be ridiculous. I really want to be the person I've always wanted to be. lol That's an example of a Rhetorical term I should know, but I don't. XD Honard would kill me!
Oh! So today I was in the fashion section (I know right?) on this website I love, and some one had posted this game where you post a picture of something you would buy and then post a different website for the next one to choose something they would buy and then they would post a website and so on and so forth. So yeah, it was like a GOLD MINE for online shopping lol. I never really thought I was a fan, but I am. I just have that punkish style (that no one knows of) Mostly because of the obvious factor or me not liking myself, two, I'd probably give my parents a heart attack.
Funny isn't it? How much my parents have limited me. And they LOVE to talk about it behind my back, about how I never go out, or how I'm not in a relationship, and stupid things like that, when I don't ask to go out any where anymore because I know my mother will be a bitch and say she doesn't want to drive me and like I would EVER tell my mother I'm in a relationship. Me and my parents have absolutely NO relationship, I loathe my mother, and I am angry at my father for never being in my life and thinking he has a right to joke around with me. I love them to an extent, but I've really had enough of them.
... Fiend=Olivia?
ReplyDelete