Thursday, May 20, 2010

I've Gotta a Feeling!

So this week started out like AHHHH!!! I had a physics review day, and it was just tiring, I don't know, things have just been getting to me lately. I mean, I really had a strong urge to get rid of my anger and sadness in the form of cutting. I know I know, and I really do know, but let's not get into that, it only causes me to feel the need to so SKIPPING that. I was really stressed and I was also panicking about Leadership Tryouts for band (which we had on Tuesday). I REALLY wanted to make leadership. Like really really REALLY wanted to! So the auditions came by, we were the first group to go, me, Florine, Thulium, and Steph all were there we kept calming each other down, we kept saying that they would love us all so much that they would just make us all section leaders! So we went in, I thought I did crappy, we all knew Florine would make it and we could have put money on the fact that Assistant Section Leader would be a non-senior (and by senior I mean for next year, like I'm a junior now but next year I'll be a senior)because that's what they did for drum major. So we try out and me and Florine hang out until like 5:30 maybe 6 p.m. there, and our audition began at like 3:30- 3:45 and was over with in like maybe 7 minutes. It was a quick thing.

So we sing a million songs together, we are both music lovers, we can't help it, I mean why else would we both be in choir AND band next year (I love it more, I'm in AP Music Theory HA! lol), but anyways, we are good friends. We went home anxious to see who got the leadership positions, my Band director said it was a hard decision among the spots as a whole. I believe it was especially hard with the flutes, considering we were all great and have really stepped up our game! And I also think it was especially hard with us because we got THREE spots! That has never ever EVER happened. So I made assistant section leader along with Thulium and Florine made section leader! We were all so excited! And Steph took it as a time to relax! Hahaha, she's a funny on I tell you, because I am so going to ask her for her musical time whether she likes it or not!

So that same day we had our Academic award ceremony. I got my letterman all new and shiny and untouched! I'm never going to wear it though XD I hate lettermans! It was great I missed most of my classes, except I had a physics test afterwards! That totally sucked I know for sure I got 5 out of 11 right. It just is stupid. I hate physics XD

That SAME day we had our first fish camp! I was so unprepared XD I had to cancel on Mai though. It just wouldn't have been fair! We only have 11 new flutes coming in (not counting the ones we don't know are going to quit or not) We are one of the smallest sections! It's crazy! And we have 3 leaders, that's just crazy talk.
Band is so totally going to go a different direction, I'm so EXCITED! I have big plans! Nah, I have ideas on how to improve the band, I think I'm the most encouraging one, which is shocking for two reasons: One, Thulium is the most happy, excited, hyper person I have EVER met, Two, because this time last year I was so confused about my life and myself and about my role in this world.

I can't wait! We have another Fish Camp tomorrow, this will be FUN! I have to find some exercises for Mai, she is so tense and negative! I need her to loosen up! She needs to chill she doesn't even have it THAT bad. Ugh, I dunno. I'll figure it out, I know I will!

And to make my life so much better at this very point in time! I got a letter from MIT, I literally almost died. I saw the letter and it looked like MIT's logo thingy, but I've though that before and had my hopes shattered, so I didn't get myself at all excited, and then I closed in on the letter on the table, and I read "Massachusetts" and I almost died of happiness and curiosity all at once I couldn't read the second word fast enough. It said "Institute" and I read "of" and snatched it to make sure I wasn't crazy, and I read "Technology" and I couldn't escape to my room to read it fast enough! It was a 'interested in you because of PSAT scores' and it's the best letter I've ever gotten. I could have just died of happiness, right then and there. It was amazing and has made me more hopeful for the future.

I don't know whether I have just become increasingly more happy(which is still such an odd sensation) or an optimism I didn't know I had or just a streak of luck. I don't know but I am so excited I can't stand it! I know all my freshman's name's that came on Wednesday (HELL YEAH! I spelled it right the FIRST TIME) It was amazing.
The Bones season finale seriously made me cry! It was amazing! I loved it! I couldn't freaking believe it! I love Bones! And the House season finale AMAZING!
This has been good, and tomorrow is the end of my final completely normal school week I'm anxious for the summer!

Oh, don't worry, it's not all good, there are some crappy things going on, but we'll see how this goes. This happiness thing seems to be working for me.

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