Memorial Day weekend.

I hate my father. Plain and Simple.

Yesterday was an interestingly boring day. I've blown off Mai this entire week, mostly because I've been in a foul sour mood. No mood for teaching a young moody teenager! So I went home early almost the entire week. And now finals are coming and I'm exempt from them all!!! Yay! I'm looking forward to relaxing with friends on Tuesday and before I leave on Wednesday. I was going to go to my friends gathering at the movies yesterday, but it was late, but since my dad was here I could have gone. BUT, I fell asleep around 8:30 ish and I was planning on leaving around 9:30, but my mother decided that she would wake me at 10:05(when the movie STARTED) to tell me if I was still going to go. No what yo guys don't know about my mother is that she walks into my room periodically once I get home to see if I'm 'awake' Every hour or less, and yesterday she decided to come and check on me when I told her the movie started. She totally was a bitch about it. I just went to bed after I sent my friend a text telling her I couldn't go, I was pissed which is why I slept before I did something stupid, which I tend to do a lot.

I was angry this morning but I did that whole, read some fanfiction that I've been craving thing and I'm calm now. Just as long as my parents don't speak for me for the next few hours.

AH! 3 day weekend! I'm going to clean my room well all the paper crap from colleges and boarding schools I have laying around and place my wine in a safer place and I'll be able to have a relaxing summer when I get home, that is. Have I told you that I have basically no summer? or next no, that's too much to count, I don't have a life basically until the second week of November. I'm telling you, I bet the people who work at very demanding jobs were in marching band (drumline, colorguard, pit, marcher, etc.) because You really have to be dedicated, considering you don't get paid, I did the math, it's like 160 hours in the last week of July and The first 3 weeks of August(Mon-Friday). For no pay, not counting the during school practices, honestly it feels like double that when you are out there in the blazing Houston sun. It really feels like hell, but it's worth it in the end.

Don't you guys hate it when your parent's words hurt more than anything else? I sure as hell do.

Lol, Technetium and me have talked A LOT today, I bugged her a lot XD I got her mad though! I said something about something and she got 'angry'. She's been out of it though, so I rather liked the spark in emotion! And it still bother her that I don't think she's hot, and apparently I owe her a present! According to her at least!

So I'm hanging out with all my friends on Tuesday, I kind of want a melting pot of them all because it is the last day of our junior year together. The next day I'm going to Mexico at 11 a.m. (And I am sooo scared, like I'm not even kidding I really am scared). Ah! I'm terrified. lol

So I have a bottle of wine hidden in my room. I have had it for a while now. Since last weekend. But I haven't opened it. I kind of really want it. I haven't opened it one, because I couldn't find my bottle opener, two, I couldn't really bring myself to open it. I'm not really sure why actually. I think I might be afraid of drinking too much and letting it affect my brain, and I mean alcohol is a depressor, and I haven't been that happy lately, I'm not sure why and my mood has fallen either. Eh, I'm sure it'll go up in a few days. That and my father's family is full of drunks, happy and angry drunks, so I guess I'm afraid of that. Since I don't really know my limit, though I doubt I'm a light weight. I'm so out of it I swear.

So I bought Finale Notepad with my mother's credit card, why? To get my revenge from last night, I've done worse under her roof, I mean I have a bottle of wine in my room!

I read this great fanfiction this morning that was really amazing, it really makes you look at your own life. So I cleaned my room and distracted myself with busy work. One, because I hate thinking about my life, with it's stupid decisions or boring non-eventful crap or beyond stupid decisions that won't seem to go away. So I like to think about my future where I hope to leave that shell behind and create a new life.

Ack! I don't know about my future. I know where I want to go and what I want to do, but I'm terrified about the entire journey, I mean I'm going to be a GROWN-UP! That responsibility is killer, I'm going to have BILLS, I'm going to have to WORK, I don't know how I'll do it. I think I'm like a caged tiger ready to attack the world. I'm going to go to a school with rich people, and you know that they are crazy partiers and I'm going to be tempted. I'm going to be soo irresponsible I already know, I just hope I have a good friend that will help me out. I kind of have the feeling I'm going to be that person that goes crazy and never study's but still gets a near perfect grade. I absorb information about things I care about,, like music theory, I've never studied, except auditory things, but that's because I don't have a good ear for notes. Other than that if I pay attention in class or read it I'll absorb it. Except history that doesn't matter to me. Like I remember a lot about Tchaikovsky's life and I looked him up for my hero project like a month ago. I still remember facts about things I liked or that mattered in my mind. I hope so at least, because yeah, I have a feeling all this repression is going to be crazy to me when I get my freedom.

So yeah, that's all I have to say.