So I finally figured out why I was so angry and depressed when me and Thorium, I know SUPER late. But at least I figured it out! It's actually because I knew it would happen, that's such a horrible thing to say, but it's true! I knew that he would hurt me in some way. One, because every male that has ever mattered to me in life has hurt me in some way, two, because every best friends I had ever had has hurt me in some way shape or form, three because I let myself trust him entirely and I knew I was going to regret it, I'm pretty sure I even wrote in here that I would regret it. It was a risk I was willing to take but like they say what goes up must come down.
So that was my epiphany of the day :D
Since I can't exactly post this survey on Myspace or facebook, I've decided that this is my appropriate place to post it lol! It's just a random survey that was on WGLG board on gURL, so yup.
1. Are you a lesbian or bi sexual? A straight up bi :D
2. When did you realize that you liked girls? Like almost a year ago, basically I've always known, just like a thing in the back of my head, but the front always said it wasn't right, until I've decided that I'm my own person, and I believe what I want to believe and do what I want to do.
3. Have you ever had sex with a girl? Nah.
4. Do you have a girlfriend? Nope.
5. If you said No, do you want a girlfriend? Nah, if it happens okay if it doesn't I really don't care. If you've ever watched Bones my beliefs are like Temperance's
6. Whats your favorite body part on girls? Can I just say the entire thing? lol, if I HAD to choose I'd say curves.
7. What kind of girls do you usually go for (ex: gothic,preppy ect..)? Hm... I don't really know, I don't think I have a type.
8. Who do you think the hottest girl celebrity is? Angelina Jolie even at her age she's still got it XD and Lacey Schwimmer.
9. What turns you on most about girls? rofl, let's omit this question.
So that's that :P
Okay, so this has been bothering me for about a week or so now, I have really really really felt the urge to mark myself. Like I mean, I found shiny early last week and I enclosed it in the SD card holder so it's a burden to get to it, not really but eh. I honestly don't know what has been stopping me from doing it. I want to, like really badly, but I can't make myself do it. Actually I don't even take it out because I'm pretty sure if I did I would do it. I haven't marked in forever! And I guess I'm happy about it, I guess, but it's like this. You know how when you're craving like barbecue or something savory that you can basically taste it and your being wants to have some? Well, it's like that but I can feel the areas I would have normally marked on just tingling and yelling at me to relieve it. I don't know it's so weird. The one thing I REALLY hate it that whenever I some one mentions it or even says the word cut I just feel it. I HATE it, you guys probably wouldn't know but people say that word A LOT. When ever I end up on the C&SMR board it takes me awhile to read someone who has relapsed's post because it like full blown tingle through out my body! I'd like to say this is new, but it's not. Ever since I have calmed down and not marked because I 'needed' it, I've felt the tingle, I'm sure I did before that, but I actually just succumbed and marked. It's stupid I know, I can't help it, it's one of those things you can't really get rid of, just ignore.
Oh! Another thing to rant about, is there like no gaming girls on gURL! All the games they talk about on there are lame! No one talks about KH, wet, oblivion, final fantasy, hell! not even WOW, I mean seriously! They talk about lame MMO's too! I saw a thread about a hello kitty mmo, I mean, I have no problem with that but come on! Let's balance it out with kick ass games! I mean there is a world of games out there and they only talk about their Sims issues! Okay I get it, now just go and google it because no one is ever on that board to help you out! Okay I'm done.
Now I'm going to take a shower and watch Avatar, then sleep, wake up tomorrow and hang out with amigos! yay!
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