Will work for more Gay in my LIfe

Ah, blog. You are like my safe haven. Ugh. I need to gay up my life. Though I have to say, I can actually get close to Julianne and she doesn't move away. Breaking down personal bubbles FTW! I swear I don't know what to think. She's worn plaid. We hang out significantly longer and more often now. We are entering the stage where we can speak more freely and also. She does things because she knows it'll make me happy or because we spoke about it 2 or 3 days ago or even a week or two ago. So either, her gay is showing, or she is just turning into a good friend. It does NOT help that she is hung up on her first crush at this school. Like WTF? I dunno, I'll still have a crush on her and I'll keep trying, but having her as a good friend could work too. I mean, she's smart, fun to talk to, funny, fun, interesting, good company, active, and generally fun. LOL That reminds me, yesterday we were hanging out in Katie's room and we started talking about how people dance and grind. And if we look back to 2007-2008 school year, we know I was a horny bitch. So. Yes, I have grinded and I have danced in a dirty manner before. So they were like I've never grinded and blah blah. I was avoiding the topic like the plague, because my past, not so pretty. One day. And they were like have you? And after like a half a second pause I was like, we don't speak of those times XD Like, I keep saying things that insinuate that I have had sex before, I have drunk before, I have smoked before, and 'normal' stuff like that. And I keep mentally scolding myself, because I don't need them to know at this point of our friendship. So yeah... Also, I don't really think they know I'm gay. Once again, I don't act very straight. But yeah, I've noticed however, that recently I've felt more comfortable being the one who dances behind people, the 'male' role in dancing. And yeah... a bit weird and frustrating. I would love a gay club, or a place where I could just simply grind into some girls. Like fo real. If you want to know some weird shit that happens around where I go to college, Google: Exotic Animals escape Muskingum Some crazy shit, it's also my status on facebook if you have me there. But yes, I need to gay up my life. I've felt very productive lately. I'm very happy. I did well in my lesson. I am hanging out mainly with Julianne, and almost none at all with Tara. I've been practicing, doing all of my homework, I got a 91 ON MY PIANO MIDTERM FUCK YES! Katie is a close friend also. I feel like I'm making progress. I am ALMOST done with preparing for the Blood Drive my 3 person group is hosting for Make a Difference Day on Friday. Everyday this week there is something entertaining I'm going to with just Julianne or her and Katie. Not Tara :D My life is SO much better when Tara isn't in my life 24/7. She is just so fucking negative. This is how our auras interact. She has a black aura(not really but this is my analogy) and mine is white. When ever she is around it starts tainting and turning gray, and the longer I'm near her the darker the gray gets and if I'm around her for a long enough time period it starts turning black. And with julianne I associate her with red, so I don't mind it. And Katie is an orange, which I don't mind I like hanging with reds oranges, greens, browns, sometimes blues depends on what shade. I'm synesthetic, so I associate things with colors. Like numbers and letters all have different colors. Not always the same day to day, but for the most part they stay one color. Fun. But Tara, I can only tolerate her.