Before I start getting ready for this rave at 9:30p.m. I've decided. I'm just going to let it go. I will be her friend. And I leave it that. It's a drama I don't need right now. A relationship would be nice, yes. But I'd rather come out first. I want to inform people I'm gay. I'm thinking of cutting my hair short. I don't know how it'll look now. I'll give it a few days, but I want to cut it. Having it the way I have it now just provides me a nice lame pony tail. I want to do something fun. I'm going to buy a new straightener. Mine was lost with my luggage. It's lame, because I REALLY liked that straightener. I would buy shit for my hair and do shit with it. But yeah. I'm just going to let it go. I was thinking about it yesterday and this past week. I know this guy who likes her. And he is a good guy. Exactly what she needs. I don't mind just being her friend. Just knowing she's happy is enough in all honesty. I enjoy her company. After she starts going out with the guy, I'll tell her I'm gay. Oh, yeah she likes him too. I don't mind, I'm glad she found someone that she likes and that he likes her too. It's great for her. I'm happy. Really. It's no lie. I mean, I'm sure it'll sting a bit. But Robert is a sweet heart and Julianne needs that and I'm glad it'll happen, I will let it run it's course. If things don't happen for like another week or two, I'm interfering. Fo real. They would go well together. But yeah, I told her I liked someone. I have to think of someone I actually might like that is a girl. I mean, I think a lot of girls are hot, but no real crushes. Other than Julianne ya know. She honestly thought I liked Robert. I was like... nooooooo I do not like the same person as you TRUST me. She wouldn't I don't KNOW how else to gay up myself. In all honesty I am a very non feminine girl. I mean I can. And I will look good. But, I don't like dressing up every day. I'm a v-neck boxers and jeans type of girl. I would wear the easiest thing. A funny t-shirt. A button up if I owned any. I mean. I don't have a lot of clothes thank to being poor and all. It doesn't help that I go shopping with my mother, and she doesn't know, so I can't go to the guy section and buy guys clothes. Like fo real. Lol, I like saying that "Like fo real" Just saying Any ways yeah. I guess my gay doesn't radiate off of me or something. It's weird. I guess. Or maybe they don't want to jump and judge me. Idk. I need my face to clear up. Seriously, it's getting on my nerves. it just gets worse and worse. Fucking sucks. My complexion has never been perfect but it has never been this bad. Damned college. Anyways, I'm going to get ready for the rave YAY! Dancing on who ever I want.