Happiness is Overrated.

So I've avidly kept up with this blog! I'm very proud of myself! I'm even more proud of my self since I've kept the code names!

So yesterday? Lax, then stressful. I totally watched this episode (and bought it) of intervention, It was like wow, she is way better now, but wow. Yesterday I also did something that I've done before it's stupid, but I'll do it again and again, I'll probably never stop. But that's all you need to know about that.

I wrote my rough draft of my scholarship essay, after a REALLY long day. It was really informal though. I liked it to some extent and it put across what I want. It was really straight forward in that part, idk, I'll post it later when I can be bothered to type it up.

I should be doing Physics, but I'm not, I'm totally going to FAIL. Oh well, I haven't passed a test yet, so why start now?

Today I was AMAZING! Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I totally did an awesome job. So we had this AP U.S. History project, read ten articles, annotate them, answer two essay questions in essay form (2-3 pages) use the articles and cite them. Two essays, two rough drafts. So okay. I did one essay at like 11 p.m. and I started the second essay and got around half of it done. I woke up at 5 a.m. 30 minutes earlier than usual to finish my second essay, it was the longer of the two and I finished it looked it over printed both of them and caught the bus, but that's not the awesome part. I had to still do the rough drafts and annotate the articles (they were relatively short a page or two) so I started it in english, I got like a paragraph done there. But my home group are a bunch of idiot that don't understand MacBeth. I mean we were in Act 1 scene 2 and they were totally lost. I was like *head desk*. So not much done, in 3rd period I went to town! In my 45 minute class I finished writing both rough drafts I annotated the articles AND I did the correction thing on my rough draft, It was awesome. My friend Skele was liek in total shock that, me the procrastinator, finished everything with time to spare. It was like awesome. I was half paying attention in class anyways, and I answered several questions. Skele was in sincere shock, and honestly so was I. I felt hopeless, and really like crying half way through the class. I didn't think I would be able to do it. And yet I did. That's bad ass.

That was my adventure for the day.

Soubi is still being a bastard. I want to say I really don't care, but I do, I hate it. THREE people asked me today something about him. Donk asked me if it was going to last any longer while walking to 4th. Dull asked me if I knew what was up with him during class. Martinez asked me where he was and to tell him to be there. People I am TRYING TO FORGET HIM! Stop asking! I know he's not going to try, and I'm tired of trying, so this isn't going to end well. He probably think I don't care anymore, and that I've been lying the whole time. Ugh, if only he knew. If it hasn't sounded like it, I really care about him, he was my best friend, I can relate so much to him. But I have to forget him, if not it'll hurt... more...

So I'm talking to everyone and putting a smile on my face and laughing at all the jokes and attempt to act normally. Because I REALLY hate when people ask, "Are you okay?". I have a blog from like a few months ago when like A MILLION PEOPLE asked me, "Are you okay?" I almost smacked someone. If you need to know, I'll tell you. But honestly, I'm not going to tell anyone. So how about you not even try, population. My problems go down deep.

Anything else? I don't think so. Oh! I have a sore throat and we are working on aural skills and singing tomorrow, oh joy, this is not going to go over well.

Sometime Around Midnight

Early post today, mostly because I know nothing of interest will happen today.

I had an interesting conversation with Mai today. And a funny conversation with Fox.

I'm supposed to be doing my project but blah. I have a headache. My finger still hurts from that stupid prick to measure my blood sugar for giving blood.

I need to buy new band-Aides REMINDER!!!

Yeah, I never remember to do anything like buy things, unless I write it down, I've needed band-aides for a while now, and I still haven't bought them.

Soubi is still being a douche, I still can't but help to think that when my phone vibrates it's going to be him apologizing. What ever. I've survived with out a person to talk to, and I can do it again.

The Airborne Toxic Event is an awesome band!!! Gracias Revolution.

I'm such a slacker XP

You Gotta Lick It

So, this'll be short.

Soubi hasn't said a word to me yet. I refuse to give in. That must sound so bitchy, but in reality, I'm always the one who has to say sorry, even if it's not my fault. So I'm taking a stand this time. He can come to me, because I can live with or with out him (I think/hope).

So Yuki finally gave me her explanation of her code name for me. XD

If she misses that clue, I may just have to literally spell it out for her.

Those websites I found are AWESOME! And I'm so totally using them, when I'm older. I'm going to post them on here, so I don't loose them, so just totally ignore the bottom of this post, unless the curiosity is really killing you, then go for it.

I think that's it. Nothing all that interesting today.

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And before you think it, yes, I have heard of some of these before, because come one... Macy's? But I'll never EVER type it in, but I will click it lol.

Blue Banana

So today has been interesting. Actually, not really. Just weird things. So I was in there bathroom when I heard my parents talking, and they were talking about me. And it was about over me and my single status. They do believe I've never had a boyfriend. It's funny really. I've had three boyfriends and two weird relationships. I sincerely thought it was absolutely hilarious. Ha... if only they knew.

He REFUSES to talk to me first. I'm getting sick and tired of us fighting and him not even trying to reconcile. In his mind it's ALL my fault. It's my fault for getting on him when he was in a bad mood, it's MY fault for arguing him when he was already in an arguing mood, and it's not my fault for saying I would fix him. In his head it's ALL my fault. Stupid. I really HATE and LOATHE him sometimes. He MAKES the world revolve around him. Sure he had a shit childhood and shit parents, but I know PLENTY of people with with equally shit childhood's. And yeah, I know, there are plenty of reasons why he went off the beaten path, I'm number one in making excuses for my actions. But seriously? Is it really MY fault I don't feel crippling pity for you? You're not making it any easier. Blah, so enough about him.

Man, sometimes I wish I could be more like Fiend. She is so open with everything she does. I don't have the luxury of just being honest abut absolutely everything. It's mostly my fault for doing stupid things with stupid people. What isn't my fault, is that the world is like the most judgmental thing in the world. But what ever. College is coming! And I get to be me.

On that subject. I cannot wait until college. Okay, so you see. I really HATE my mothers food. It's greasy and yucky and tastes good but horrible for you, it always makes me gag, knowing I'm putting that in my body. I would so much rather go back to my old eating habits in the summer before 9th grade, when I was a vegetarian. And I only ate chicken and turkey so my mother would stop bitching at me for never eating her food. I was a true vegetarian for a month or so. I loved it. It was simple and I was doing good for my body. In reality I'm pretty sure I could live on fake meat, fruits and vegetables for the rest of my life. It's way easier to prepare and way healthier. Reason I stopped, marching band and because I was really about to murder my mother if she made one more comment about my eating habits. I needed a lot of protein(which you really don't get when you're a vegetarian) and iron (which you do get but it's more prominent in meaty things) and I needed that for marching band. So I ate meat and things that would be worked off anyways. In college I will be able to exercise regularly like before! My parents always bitch and have irregular schedules so I can never exercise in their room (where the tread mill and etc. are) Let's just say it's my parents fault for a lot of things. College is going to be a huge change for me, it'll be ridiculous. I really want to be the person I've always wanted to be. lol That's an example of a Rhetorical term I should know, but I don't. XD Honard would kill me!

Oh! So today I was in the fashion section (I know right?) on this website I love, and some one had posted this game where you post a picture of something you would buy and then post a different website for the next one to choose something they would buy and then they would post a website and so on and so forth. So yeah, it was like a GOLD MINE for online shopping lol. I never really thought I was a fan, but I am. I just have that punkish style (that no one knows of) Mostly because of the obvious factor or me not liking myself, two, I'd probably give my parents a heart attack.

Funny isn't it? How much my parents have limited me. And they LOVE to talk about it behind my back, about how I never go out, or how I'm not in a relationship, and stupid things like that, when I don't ask to go out any where anymore because I know my mother will be a bitch and say she doesn't want to drive me and like I would EVER tell my mother I'm in a relationship. Me and my parents have absolutely NO relationship, I loathe my mother, and I am angry at my father for never being in my life and thinking he has a right to joke around with me. I love them to an extent, but I've really had enough of them.

Narcisista por Excelencia

Today was an EFFING amazing thing! I went to the genetics lecture and it was MIND BLOWING!!! I learned all about RNA and EVERYTHING about it to explain how it is used like on HOW TO CURE CANCER! It was crazy! I didn't know it was even possible. It was eye opening and made me much less ignorant about the subject, I think I'm going to do what I was considering before, double majoring in Chemistry and Biology, and then go into pre-med as I work on continuing my knowledge of Chemistry. And minoring in music composition of course. I don't know if that is possible, but somewhere will satisfy my needs. Genetics are fascinating and I've always thought so even when I was just learning about phenotypes and punnet squares. So yeah, and I didn't get bored ONCE, usually when I'm learning I yawn right away, with this I didn't. I didn't get a little bored. It was crazy. So yeah, I love it. And now I have a new plan, that's it I'm have 3 majors in my life at least.

I gave blood about the same time Soubi did. I saw him there. I didn't say anything to him though. Do I sound really horrible? I don't think so, but I could see how one would see it that way. He is really stubborn, I tell him everything and he rarely says things about himself. I mean I know the human mind is something really complex, but I don't need to know EVERYTHING about him. I re member once, he called me during christmas break to say good night around 1 a.m. but then we started talking about elementary school and he told me so much about it, so did I, but that's besides the point. He talked to me about a lot of things we talked until 3 a.m. when his phone died. It was the best conversation I think we've ever had. There is a grey spot in his life that he never tells me about it, I'm really curious about it, but he won't tell me about it. Blah.

Um... what else... Three day weekend!!! Yay! But I have to write 2 essays for a project and study for a test and a bunch of other shit. Today is my rest day, because I just gave blood and even though I'm not really THAT weak (since I took an hour nap the moment I got home) Did I mention I hadn't eaten any REAL food the whole day? I just drank and ate a bunch of artificial sugar so I wouldn't die. It's not my fault! I hated the pizza they gave us after the lecture.

Blah... I think I'm going to text him. Idk. I think I might fall asleep again.

So why am I Button?

Instant Messege 2

So yeah, about college, it sincerely scares the crap put of me. I mean, am I going to get into a good college? Am I even going to get accepted to my choice college? And if I do, will I be able to pay for it? Am I going to be stuck in state in a 2nd rate school? I really want to get away from people who know me. I really just want to be me. Not the me everyone believes me to be. It's crazy not even Soubi knows me completely, considering I'm keeping my crazy out of the conversations. Speaking of Soubi, me and Soubi haven't spoken in forever. Why? Because he was being douchy on that one day, and he got on my nerves and now he's mad at me. He's been all depressed looking, I care, but I'm relieved he's not trying to talk to me, because I wouldn't be able to handle it. He is a sincere hand full. I don't know how Shine handles it. My other friends never deal with it and just ignore him. They ask me, like I would know. I would say it's because we are in a fight, but that would be selfish, because I'm sure there is other reasons like Shine.

People say I'm really unselfish for the things I will care about in the future. If only they knew my real intentions when I'm cut loose from my reins. 1 1/2 years left! Yay! Hm... I never write in a away that sounds deep on here. Next post I'll try. I mean I can, but this is my easy going blog. You know what I miss seeing? Miss Nicole's truck! I love that thing I want to have a truck like that! Rawr!

So yeah, that's what I wrote this morning, I just decided to not post it XD

Instant Messege

Have I ever said I hate people? Because I REALLY HATE PEOPLE!!! So yesterday was a half day right? I was excited for the break, until I remembered I had flute lessons. So then I got aggravated, even more than that it was the fact the schedule was so jacked. It was annoying, but I got invited to go eat at Johnny Carino's. That made it better. Only a little. I went with Green and 3 others. It was okay. But the people there were bastards. The hostess thought we were hoodlums, and that 5 girls would be bad. We waited 40-50 minutes to get seated while we watched about 30 people get seated before us. We got the worst seat in the house and we found out that the waitresses didn't want to deal with us. We were all pissed, considering we were almost all in the top 5%, it was ridiculous. We were so insulted it was ridiculous. It just goes to show that 90% percent of schools give the other 10% a bad name. And that they will never consider us adults until we are out of college. I hate it. Adults suck.

Ruined my day for sure.

So me and Soubi haven't reconciled yet. I'm not trying. I love the kid, but man, just thinking about this week gives me a headache. I really couldn't deal with it right now. Because arguments that we have really stick with me. Stupid kid. I hate it. Blah, now I remember why I wanted to distance myself from people and emotions. Oh well, the damage has been done.

I can't talk to Spork anymore. We aren't in the same class anymore. I should be glad, but I can't help but be disappointed. And I knew it, I just knew her schedule would finally change, and that it would end our short lived moment.

It's hilarious, it totally sounds like we broke up lol, at least that's what Donk said. But I think she understood to some extent with the little information I gave her pertaining to the situation. I dunno, it's just a great feeling of regret that I have. It makes me really sad in reality. But blah, fake smiles and fake emotions are the best in times like this, Spork can't even do that anymore...

Today was just sucky. It was just a long day. I just want to sleep really. I think I need sleep. Three day weekend is coming up though! And I'm missing almost all my classes tomorrow and giving blood. lol

So my life is boring I swear! There is generally nothing that happens with me when me and Soubi are in a fight(which happens often as you will soon see). It's bothersome my my parents are douches who never let me go out, and I can't sneak out because I couldn't do that to them.

My grades aren't as bad as I thought them to be, well, the letter is but my GPA and rank aren't anywhere near what I though they would be. 4.26 and 41. I was like YES!

Soubi has looked horrible these past few days. He's not even trying to hide it. He says he's tired, but I sincerely doubt it. I know something up and I feel horrible that I don't ask because I'm putting my mental state before his. My head won't stay up, so I'm laying on the floor now, because man, I've felt like this all day, but I got home at 5.

College is scaring the shit out of me. I don't think I'm going to do good enough to get into a good school. I hate

Lol, yeah. I fell asleep writing this, my mom woke me up and told me to get in bed to sleep there, so I posted this and slept. XD

I'll write the end of this in my phone, and then write it when I get back from school (when I've lost a pint of blood )

So Violento So Macabro

Today, SUCKED! Not really, just some parts of it. So okay start to the day, I sat in English just bored, because I had already looked up the dialog she wanted us to decipher. We screwed it up though, so it wouldn't seem obvious, but the black people suck at being sneaky, they made it obvious, along with their horrible understanding of the English language. I'm not racist, I just don't like ignorant people, and it just happens that the ignorant people in my group are black, and tend to be the black people who make it REALLY obvious that they are ignorant. I like black people, I have black friends! Heck. Grey is black! I'd say African american, but those are the people who have actually suffered directly from things like Jim Crow laws or slavery or segregation or both, at least in my book, everyone else is American who just happen to be brown, but latinos are brown, and diluted black is what black people are, so black is just shorter, so what ever. It's like crayons, I call the box crayons, and when I refer to one crayon I say 'one crayon', and to specify which one I am talking about I say the color. So what ever, I can't be bother to explain more.

So yeah, Theory was blah. Math was okay. Spork talked to me today and finally told me the real reason. I now I just have to say, I really don't know what to tell her. I knew her excuses were just that, excuses, I just gave her the courtesy of pretending to believe her and letting her tell me instead of pressuring her to tell me. I am really pissed at that one person, and I'm so glad I don't talk to him. She told me that she can never fool Lin or me. And she can't, I've known her way too long and I know how she really is, her real personality, and it makes me so angry! I want her to be HER again! She deserves that! But I don't know what to tell her! FUCK! It's like my heart just wants to find the answer we're both desperately looking for. And for 2 years! All the life she has missed. DAMN! I knew I shouldn't have let her go so easily! SHIT! I feel really bad.

Neeb's class was boring and honestly I kept thinking of Spork's problem and Soubi who FINALLY got his schedule changed. About damned time! We have Physics together, so much for care free environment, he hates several people in that class. Ha! Soubi and I were having a 'love' fight last night. He kept saying he loved me more, and I told him I loved him more. In his head he won, but I know I do XD We are weird friends. Hm... what else. Medical Terminology (which even SOUNDS boring) was REALLY boring, we literally do nothing, and that bitch wants me to do flashcards for her unimportant class. I'm sure she thinks I care since I'm always writing, but yeah, I'm doing my Theory homework. I have no interest in the medical field. Lunch was chaos, we had 11 people sitting at our table today. It was quiet because there were a lot of different people there, I knew then all, it was just like, "Who should I talk to?" Even Fox said that it was quiet. Band was... band boring as heck man. At sectionals today we had like 5 minutes of playing our third octave f#-c, which is like a bajillion ledger lines above the staff. That made me super light headed. I almost fell like twice.

Speaking of light headed, I'm saving three lives on Friday! Yay, giving blood!!! And I have the genetics lecture I still have to buy a ticket for it. I love giving blood, gives me the feeling that I'm not completely useless.

I haven't talked much to Soubi, dunno, I think he's mad at me. I don't know, that kid is blah. I guess I'm blah too, but that's because I feel blah, so I'm assuming Blah is a good way to describe me at this point.

Blah I wanna tell Soubi about Spork because I'm honestly stumped, but I really don't want to break Spork's new found trust in me. BLAH and OTHER OBSCENITIES!!!!!!!! I feel like just running for hours or like having a massive work out right now just to get my mind off of it. Blah, I'm off to write in my other blog, this whole ranting with out really saying anything is getting aggravating.

Procession of the Nobles

House is going to be SO effin awesome next week. A sociopath! Sociopaths are always fun! So today, SUCKED. Everthing was going good until Honard put us in new home groups which placed me REALLY far away from Sun. So Shakespeare will be SUPER boring without Sun's remarks and such. I will be stuck with 4 strangers that I could really care less for. Much less for two people who I know will only contribute idiotic responses and really simple thought answers and questions. That, and their hair smells really really bad. And I really can't stand the smell when it's like a day old with only one person., but this will be like 2 week old grease and two people sitting right next two each other with the wind hitting you in the face. My stomach felt really bad the whole day. It was horrible, it doesn't feel much better. Blah. My question, why do they find the need to conform with the american society and not their own society.

Theory wasn't that good today either. Blah. I swear Soubi totally getting on my nerves. He keeps turning around and talking when Bendorf is still talking. Swear. He doesn't understand the human being at all. I'm sure he doesn't care for much other than his self. That's the word I've been searching for! Selfish. He really cares for his own happiness, education, and life, before others. If he doesn't like you he'll try to shut you up. I'm not saying he doesn't care for others, because he does, it just doesn't mean he doesn't care about him self a lot more. I swear, if you say anything I will shoot you! You know who you are.

So today I was looking through my messages trying to find someones name, because I honestly didn't know what name I put her under. So I found her after like a bajillion messages to find out, I only text like 3 or 4 people in all, 90% of the time it being Soubi. Man, I need more people to text/ talk to. I mean I love the people I text, but I need more people. Well, I guess it goes to prove that question that is always on Myspace surveys. Would you rather have a lot of regular friends or only a few close ones.

I'm really hating school, the week has just begun and I'm already buried under homework, remind me again why I took APUSH. Because I really really REALLY hate history. As long as I know the basics I'm good, but what I'm interested in has NOTHING to do with history, or at least the little details they are attempting to shove down my throat. English I can live with. It is an interesting hobby. Science=Life. Music=Life. Math= eh, but I'll live. So odd ball out? History. I mean I find things interesting, like the Curse of Tippecanoe (I'd like to say that I just made a typo the word 'like' but I spell 'Tippecanoe' with out mistake) or the fact that Jackson was an idiot and made Van Buren look bad, and things like that. But the fact that I need to learn that the election of 1868 was between Grant and Seymor, Grant winning and in 1872 it was Grant and Greely, Grant again winning(the drunk bastard), then in 1876 the lame election between Haydes and Tilden, it was a stupid election, the election of 1880 Garfield and Hancock and Garfield won but died a few months later and Arthur his VP took over, and then Cleveland and Blaine in 1884 Cleveland won the Harrison and Cleveland in 1888, then Cleveland and Harrison in 1890 Cleveland won the only president to ever have been in office two non consecutive years. That's detailed right? Just like the detail that Reagan was the president to break the Curse of Tippecanoe. But nope. That's supposed to be common knowledge, saying that the elections between 1868-1890 were the Guilded Presidents, that would be lightly touching the surface. We're obligated to know all the presidents, which I don't know btw.

So I hate History, but I know a lot about it. Oh, why do people love WW2, I have no interest in that war. Yeah yeah, whatever Nazi's I don't really care. Previous wars in other countries are way more interesting. I think the life has been sucked from that war. I find the politics way more interesting. Blah, that sounds old.

Man, I would love to have an huge library of classic instrumental music. That would be AWESOME! ITunes gift cards are welcome! :D

Life sucks, and is really boring right now, so I'll stop bothering you about it, because I can't be bothered to explain it.

House Divided!

I WOULD post more often but, you see I have a REALLY boring life. This is like, a way to keep track of life, and trace back to the good old days, as I'm sure I'll refer to now later. I have a really bad memory so I'll remember with this.

So I've done really about absolutely nothing, I really have no idea how I pass time. I woke up at 2p.m. and the clock said 8 p.m. and I had no idea how the time passed.

Yesterday, I had no plans, since I was planning to go out with Soubi, so I had nothing else planned for the day. So I was BORED. I was on There, I went to Partyopolis for the first time with Mom, It was fun, great music as always and "Hoover" instead of hover from DJ Shelley MADE MY DAY! It was awesome I loved it. I also won something from just standing there and talking with Mom and Turtle, candi showed up after a while but her comp was being stupid. Then I just left at the end. lol

Today, like I said nothing. I did my Theory homework and I talked to Soubi like all day. I watched Invader Zim and now House. Um... I remembered seventh chords!!! So I no longer have to group myself with the slow people or at least the people who aren't serious about Theory, and knock Soubi down a few pegs, because now I can be faster, so BAM!

I know that sounds really snobbish and stuff, but I really love music, and I'm really serious about my future. And they aren't. So that's why I always get mad when I do below perfect in Theory. So, reason I was pissed I got a 97 on the final, because I should have done perfect. So if you call that snobbish, than so be it. And and Soubi, it just gets on my nerves when he thinks he's better than me, when I know he's not.

We have a complicated relationship so don't really judge that last remark. I'm sure he feels the same about my actions. Like I said complicated, but I love the kid and he's my best friend.

As my last statement? I LOVE HOUSE! If you get me every season of house on DVD, I will LOVE YOU FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!

I Never Told You What I Do For A Living

Okay so I promised to elaborate things. So yeah, things have dramatically changed between me and Grey. We are on the same terms, well almost the same. But I'm getting ahead of myself, I shall now elaborate on the previous post.

Soubi is my best friend ever, I can literally tell him everything, except maybe a few things. But that's by choice, not because I can't.

Grey is my other best friend, she is effin awesome.

Yuki is a good friend very hyper, her name is subject to change, I had another one, but I forgot what it was already.

Green is another good friend who is like my academic and band friend.

Spork is my old best friend and she remains a good friend even if we don't talk often.

Fox is my other good friend, Love that chick.

Bear is my friend and you should know her as the Hugger, because she enjoys to hug me... a lot.

Donk is my mixed friend is is crazy but I love her, she's cool.

Geisha- crack head, but I love her she is crazy as you will see in the future

Bram- pretty awesome chick. You'll hear about her every once in a while

Gaz- Now she is not as crazy as Geisha, but she's getting there.

Once I find a name for everyone I'l dedicate a post to it, as a key for you AND me.

So I decided to let you learn about who I am by what I post and not by me just telling me, because you may have another opinion of me than my own.

So the other day was pretty interesting with a lot of things happening.

Soubi said I was acting weird. And maybe I was I'm not sure, but he was talking in public about things that I would really prefer stay between me and him. Well, I mean just not say as loud as he said. But like idk. It's like I like the talks we have even in front of people, but I dunno, it just makes me paranoid. I mean I don't really lie to people I just don't tell them things if they don't ask. It bothered me the way he said it, or referred to it I guess. I'm not sure, I told him, and he was like okay, we'll just talk like that in IM and text or what ever. BLAH. Not exactly what I wanted but juts BLAH.

Yuki, has just had a shitty week, I really don't talk to her in depth because she somehow always catches me in a bad time. But I've heard and seen her be unhappy, and even not sit with us at lunch. I guess she has a bunch of things going on.

Grey ignored and didn't talk to me at all, I don't blame her, but I was just speaking my mind. Oh well, I'm giving her space and she can talk to me when ever she is ready.

Green invited me to play in a trio with her and Grey. And I was like yeah (in my head: oh great), I told her as long as Grey was cool with it, I'm in. But this should be fun, considering we aren't exactly talking. Green was surprised when I told her but eh, what ev. it's between me and Grey.

I talked to Spork she's in my math class, and sits next to me, so we talk, considering we are learing SOH CAH TOA (Some Other Hippie - Caught Another Hippie - Trippin On Acid) which I learned several SEVERAL years ago. So we talk, and I have my next class with her, but her boyfriend is in there, and you know what that means. No talkie to ANY one. Her plan has worked that she told me about last year in Robo's class. Good for her. I'm happy for her. But Spork is my good friend and somehow knows how to make me feel better when I'm down

I totally sucked it up in Theory the other day, and man did I feel like shit, I really felt like crying, it was horrible. I made it out, but Soubi was being a cocky arse as usual when he answers a few questions right. And no, he wasn't just happy for himself, he was being cocky. I just wanted to get away from him at that time, he walks with some sophomore, so I got away from him. I arrived to math class in a pretty shitty mood, and Spork heard me tell Bear that I was in a really not good mood as she hung on to my backpack. I told her about it, and she heled me through teh situation, so she cheered me up, I am still sad about me remembering slowly but I have two bastards looking upon my every mistake and correcting me. Really what got me the most was that my teacher said "Oh, How the Mighty have fallen..." he said it in a joking manner but it still hurt a lot, I controlled my face/ expression/ watery eyes as much as I could, but I'm sure it looked like my world had just shattered around me.

I put the little chibi Soubi gave me and Donk along time ago, on my phone. It symbolizes something, but I don't know what exactly yet. Friendship, something deeper than that, but that's just my crazy symbolizism.

Yeah this is today's events

So I can say it was FUCKING COLD TODAY! 25F this morning, ridiculous it was 55 last night! like 24 hours ago. Freaking crazy.

So yeah, I need a new group of friends, I may just play on the edge of groups like I've been doing, since college is coming near, it'll be hard enough to leave Soubi, Grey, Fox, and all of them, I'm starting a new life after high school anyways, I can make friends there.

Theory was another wreck, I can do the complicated things, just not the simple things, which I think is weird but idk. I hate it, I'm pretty sure I was his top student who didn't know anything about theory. I'm sure I got the highest score on the final exam, which was too low for me, a 97, I should have made perfect. I'm angry.

My lips are so chapped they keep cracking I can't lick my lips to keep them hydrated, because they crack. I hate it! My hair is straightening out, it's that cold.

Grey and me started talking again as if nothing ever happen. We are doing the trio. So yeah

Soubi and I had plans tomorrow, but his mommy was being a bitch so he had to cancel! LAME! We were going to go job hunting and then go watch Avatar in 3D And you haven't heard my rant, but on my private blog I went CRAZY over it! Best movie I've seen EVER!!! AH!!!!

I talked to a few friends, Geisha, Gaz, and Bram today. Pretty cool.

I had an awesome conversation with Spork, we laughed, and learned. She always looks so sad, but I think it's an act, but I feel her sadness, it bounces off my barrier, but I feel it. I don't know, I think something is up, but I don't know what. It really bothers me, but it's not under my jurisdiction anymore. She prefers others to me now. But, what ever, I'll step in when needed.

I started playing There today, man, I really want to stay neutral between the Club X people and Party People. But I work for the former and my prior employer are the Party People. I enjoy the Party People, they are just a lot like the Guilded Age. Shiny on the outside and corrupt and problematic on the inside, from what I hear. I will try to keep a medium between the two. But damn, this sucks. I hate it but blah, Mom is on PP, Rose(BFF) is on Club X. BLAH! I'll figure it out. I've just worked on the avoiding both. lol. Mom is trying to steer me back to PP, but idk if she knows I work at Club X now. AH! Oh well.

Medical Terminology is still a useless class, I don't care what any one says. I want NOTHING to do with medicine, it doesn't catch my attention in the least bit. And yet I'm stuck taking the class. It's a bother.

That's all for now I think. It's late, but I could stay up another 3 hours. Crazy, aye?

It's planned to be freezing the rest of the weekend, so I'm not walking outside... at all... unless DEATHLY important.

Music of the Night

Today was interesting to say the least, I said I was going to explain myself more, but I decided you can learn as you read on.

Soubi's was acting very weird today, and then he told me that I was acting weird today. It was weird, I'll elaborate more later, because it's late and my mommy will bitch if I fall asleep late.

And it was just like um... okay?

So Yuki was having a shitty day, which I don't blame her.

Grey was ignoring me, and so was I to be honest, but I'm giving her space and it's her decision to not talk to me.

Green invited me to play in her ensemble, but Grey is in it, so I really think it'll be a problem I told her I'll do it. It's just a Grey thing, it's her decision not mine.

The rest of my friends, you know... suck... a lot. I swear I can't hold a decent convo with them.

I talked to Spork, but she has changed and idk so have I.

Rawr, this is just an outline I'll elaborate on the weekend when I have no time limit.

I put Soubi's little figure on my phone again. Idk, it represents something between us, I just don't know what.

So yeah ttyl!

Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off

Unique start to this blog as you can see!

So, I have another blog, but that's like a journal thingy, I've been on blogger since May, June or July of 2009. I totally suck at updating though, so this is my new year resolution, manage two blogs and update WAY more often than before.

A bit about myself? Hm... Well, you will know me as LED. All my friends call me that, especially stupid Sand. Man she calls me Pb, or lead, the loser but I love her either way. I love music, as you will soon learn and well... yeah, I'm a junior in high school, which is grade 11. I'm from the USA which is really a lame place. At least when you have lame parents that never let you go out, it's very lame. I mean I could totally be one of those rebellious kids who sneak out, but I really don't have any real place to go. I would rather live in either Spain, England, or Germany. Though, I have to be honest I relatively know no German, but I'll be forced to!

This'll my intro post, that I was supposed to post yesterday, but just didn't get around to doing.

The Weather Man in on CRACK! He says, that today is MILD, I AM FREEZING! He says that this stupid 30 whatever degree weather F is the least of our worries, and that on Friday it'll be 28F AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I will die... If my private lesson teacher doesn't do first, and only if NHS doesn't kill me for not getting my hours. AH! I might miss my bus shit. Okay, this is officially the end of the post. Just ask if you have a question.

Okay I lied XD

I finally started following most of the blogs I've been reading since forever ago, publicly! But yeah. NOW it's the official end of the post lol.