Unoriginal

I'm in the mood of putting off my homework!

So I will tell you guys random stories from random points in my life as they pop in to my mind.

When I went through my bad EDNOS stage I used anything as an excuse to keep going in my self destructive eating, or lack thereof, and one of my many excuses/"motivators" was so MAYBE Gil would like me. Back when I had a thing for him, his name could have been replaced by anyone, it just happens I liked him at the time.

I wouldn't say I'm an emotional person anymore, I might be growing into it again, but when I was younger, around 13-14 I cried about everything and I would laugh at anything, my hormones were crazy. I however wasn't a very horny person, at the time. I laughed to hide the pain of just really not liking myself at all.

In 9th grade after I rejected this guy and was in transition of going out with another guy. The guy I rejected apparently told people he rejected me and because of that I became a lesbian. Most ABSURD thing I've ever heard about myself. This one just was ridiculous. I mean honestly, wow dude, wow. Very mature.

I had a near gay experience at Disney in 9th grade. If I had accepted that I liked girls then, I SOOOOOO would have 'tapped' that. She was curious, I'm assuming from what she said and the vibe she was sending me. Disney would have been my first gay anything, how epic would have that been?!
I do believe, though, that I would have been accepted by my friends, but I would have entered the lesbian scene at my school, and they would have been bad news, they were the over sexual people at my school and they have all left in some way or another now. But my life would have been WAY different if I were out in 9th grade or had experimented.

No lie though, I was attracted to her XD I would have enjoyed the view a lot more if I were out. She wore a cotton thin shirt that was a light color when we went to the park where we rode a bunch of water rides. Ah, I would have been such a perv. And maybe she wouldn't have gotten pregnant, had a baby with a dying guy, and run off for the fear of persecution from her family and church. How ridiculous is that? I think it's ridiculous.

My most interesting high school year was freshman year. 10th grade was boring as hell and 11th grade was great and then uber depressing.

I used to think my old best friend Mercedes was abused by her boyfriend. I've just accepted that I don't like him but Mercedes is fine. She apparently likes him a lot. I've been crossing my fingers for years that they break up. CROSSING THEM.

Some times I just want to kiss the next girl who passes me just out of frustration that I haven't done anything with a girl yet, but I've resolved myself to make it all special, and not a groping/make out session at Disney.

I kind of really want to try drugs. I first tried weed with my cousin and her friends. Yeah, they were crazy, I pretty much was just chill but we only smoked once each, there were like 6 of us and my aunt came up and knocked.

I think my friend Olivia (The only out lesbian in our group of friends) has finally started putting pieces together. She has probably figured out that if I'm not gay, I'm at least partial and that I've had sex. She wouldn't judge, she's a chill person. She's meeting her girlfriend's mom soon XD Good luck to her!

My mother can pretty much set me off with her tone of voice, it will instantly piss me the fuck off and wish death to everything and everyone.

Once, I got my parents to leave me at home after they picked me up because they wanted to go out, this was near the end of last year when I hated the world, and my mom pissed me the fuck off and my dad was off that I always look pissed when I'm with them (Guess what, I AM, catch a hint idiot) so I walked in and slammed the house door as they drove off, and I walked to my room and slammed my door so hard I broke my door frame, it shifted and there is a crack all the way around :)

I have kept every letter from amazing opportunities offered to me, but I have been unable to do anything because I am too poor. It's a reminder that I'll never be this poor when I'm an adult and I have a family, my kids will have an opportunity to do things that I was never able to. I have about 7 letters and I am planning to frame them all together to always remind me of the things I could never have.

I cry an average of 5 times when watching The Fox and the Hound. You know, the Disney movie? Best thing ever.

My classmates never witness me dressing up to go out, or generally caring about my appearance at school. I'm not trying to impress anyone at my school, it is just trying to survive my 7-12 hour day. But I can dress up or at least look hot, I just don't generally do it, only when I think I'm going to meet people who I would like to impress. I'm sure I'll dress up more when I go out in college but my goal right now is comfort. I just don't go all out because I don't own anything really.

I need to go thrift store shopping!

I need a job :/

I am going to buy SO many video games this year, I am going to be so poor.

I would like to get Dragon Age 2, I played the demo a few days ago, it was great.
Portal 2 is coming out in a few months, that will be EPIC, Skyrim of course 11.11.11, don't even TALK to me for that week I am going to relish in gaming. The game looks amazing btw you should check it out if you haven't already, Assassins Creed: Brotherhood is coming out for PC, Pokemon Black or White in the U.S. And I'm sure another hundred games I can't think of, but those are generally the ones I'm not excited for.

If I get accepted to Baylor University, I am going to go there no matter what, I'll get the Student loans if need be (Gives me a chance to buy some games too XD), and I'll try and get a bunch of scholarships.

Partially because I want to show Olivia who I really am. I'm not sure why I feel the need to prove myself, but it might be because we are somewhat alike, and I can somewhat relate to her. Except she is much more outgoing than I. And I'm hoping in college I'll be able to.

Tumblr is awesome, like fo' real.

It's a blast from the past everyday. At the moment? Listening to the Holes song. Remember? The movie that was book when we were in early middle school, A.K.A. 2006ish. With the shovels and the holes in the desert, eating onions, up a mountain, looking for treasure the racist background story? Yeah, that one. Heck yeah.

That's all for now, I've stalled for long enough! Bye