Yuppers

I have discovered that some people have to bitches (in the flute world) because they have a low esteem when it comes to playing, because being a bitch is the only way they can have enough esteem to believe they can get better and that they will be the best. In the flute world, the competitive flute world, you have to always be on your top game, because the moment you're not there is someone else passing you by and if your goal is to be the best you can't afford to not be on your game.

Everything gets easier when you've reached the top, it's just a matter of maintaining and practicing to become perfect, because if perfect is your goal you'll never stop, because perfect isn't achievable but you can almost reach it.

So, my personality isn't really to be fierce and strong in that way. I'm a bit more passive, but if I want to achieve the best, I'll have to be a beast. I'll act like a bitch in my band setting but in reality I am not and I'll never be that, it's just not me. So I'll live life as usual but no one can know about my passive aggressive ways.

Oh well.

Why? You ask. Why would I do that to myself? Because I need to be the best to achieve my future goals.

It's just understood by every instrument that being a flute player means you are going to have it hard when it comes to getting to the top. Most bands take 5-7 flutes, most orchestra's only take 2-4.

It's a competitive field, it's inevitable.

And on a sub-conscience level, I'm sure I really want to see what it's like to just be a bitch and not give a fuck about what other think or say.

Try everything once aye?

So at Marietta I'm joining the Rainbow club, Ice Hockey Club, women's choir, symphonic band, trying out for concert band, oratorio chorusm, and wind ensemble. Some of them I have to audition for, but I doubt they are that good.