Skins and Distractions

Man, I've really wanted to start writing again, yeah? This always happens when I'm reading fanfic everyday. Including my word choice. Considering I'm a Harry Potter and Skins UK fan I get the british vocabulary. Then all the terrible bristol slang. It's not terrible, it's just slang, yeah. And slang is not a good thing to ever carry around. Like fucking adding yeah to the end of things. That's a skins thing. AT least that's where I picked it up. I also am starting to involuntarily include words like 'slag' and 'fit' and 'bird' in my vocabulary. slag=slut fit=hot bird=girlfriend or girl you are interested in I'm sure there is a shit ton of things that are getting in my mind, since I read them all the time and I can't choose to ignore the words or their word choice. But yeah, back on topic. I feel like writing. I shouldn't, because I get into it. I'm extremely sensitive in that way. Juts like when I watch a movie I get overly invested in the plot and I feel for the characters and I feel their pain and extreme happiness and all of those emotions. I tend to cry at the end of movies. Fucking pixar movies have killed me. Disney movies always make me cry, the legit movies. I fucking bawl during those, there is no controlling it. It's like someone blew up the hoover dam. Anyways. The point is that any type of media makes me cry if there is a strong enough emotion to evoke it. I've cried listening to music before. Legit instrumental. "Married" from Up dear jesus. That song was the death of me. I cried a lot after watching that movie and then listening to the life sequence music. That was portrait music mayn. Anyways. I feel like writing, but I write like angsty love shiz. Because that's what I read. I go for romance now a days. Angsty not so much anymore, but i write it. I'm only slightly masochistic now. But yeah, when I get into writer mode I really get into the story because I want to convey a true emotion and something that would seem more or less realistic but slightly romanticized. But the feeling sticks with me. When I write a particularly painful scene where the character is emotionally drained I am "Your dad is a stupid tosser JJ." That has to be one of my favorite lines in Skins 2nd gen. Sorry, off topic but I just started watching it again. Also, James Fitch is fucking amazing. Love it. BACK ON TOPIC! I swear man, I'm really all over the place lately. Or my entire life. Usually I can control my distractedness. Yes. I feel like writing a fanfic. But I am too mentally tired at the end of the day. I pretend to be all nice and smiley and shit at work and even jaded with the rude asshole customers. Including resisting the urge to slap the shit out of the lying cunt bags who say they can't play a dvd or blu ray and expect the credit. Stupid people in the world looking to con their way to happiness. After all of that I can't really handle the pain of writing, but I kind of want to anyways. A bit fucked yeah? I kinda hate working. A lot. It's a total waste of time dealing with people all the time with all their issues and dealing with other people's mistakes. It's really annoying. But, I guess it's for money. On the bright side it's for money. So I get that. I can't handle it sometimes, just thinking about money. All the time. The fact that it's the only thing motivating me really bothers me. Fucking capitalistic society. Johnny White in Skins, also one of my fav characters. It's ridiculously funny. Anyways. I have to say I'm speaking nonsense now. I'm really tired and distracted. Moral of the story, I want to write fanfic but I'm a sensitive gal when it comes to media and I get distracted really easily. Yup. I also love Skins. Talk to you guys later.