Seriously Fucked Up Society

I have a few things to talk about today, but unfortunately I am extremely tired and about a few minutes away from falling asleep on my keyboard, so things are going to be a bit short on things I could go on for ages. So, I have a new laptop thanks to my friend Miguel. It's a bad ass laptop that I can't get enough of at the moment. Thank god I had the day off, because I've bee on it all day, even if most of it has been sorting out my random shit and getting it in an orderly fashion on this laptop. The speed is amazing and I really love the keyboard size. Perfect for my long fingers. All in all I love it. I'm not looking forward to working anymore. I'm so over it. I'm starting to get attached and I'm getting tired of the tedious activities. How someone could have such a monotonous life is a mystery to me. I get paid tomorrow though. Unfortunately I work all night. So no getting it into my account until Friday, if I feel like it, because teh bank is so out of my way and I don't feel comfortable depositing my check at a random ATM. Okay, this next part is going to be a speed write so I can get my thoughts out of my head and on th erecord, but I am not going to revise at all because I am way too sleepy but I refuse to forget what I'm thinking about right now. So, I'm finding it alot easier to say things like, wife and kids and talking about a future with a wife. Which is a huge steo for me in 2 ways. One, I've neever actually imagined my future with anyone, to have a future with anyone, or just a future, I would never envision things like that. It was all a black tunnel. Even now I don't have a dream future in my mind, I can just see that there is a future with me in it now. So, that's a huge step, two is the fact that I can actually imagine myself getting married to a women. We all have seen that I have been terrified of beinga lesbian and all the radical life altering things that would cause and stuff. Well, it hasn't been too huge, except the fact that I'm happier than I've been in 6ish years and I haven't imploded. So, I'm evolving as a person by not being a stupid idiot. Even though I had reasoning towards my feelings, even if it was stupid. Damn society shaping my every thought process, pisses me off. I don't know what obedience of the corpses doesn't bother others but it pisses me off beyond belief that I can't have a thought that isn't affected by the morals and rules laid out by society. We are literally being brainwashed and people seem to be A OKAY with it. Fucking idiots. I can't even imagine what a world might be like where we were all allowed to be ourselves and only shun things that cause harm to others. Man, what kind of awesome utopia would that be. Butm yeah. I find mysefl saying wife with ease now. I've never said it without ease. I always thought that I'd have to force it out, but it rolls of my tongue perfectly. My future wife. Man, is she going to be spoiled by my ridiculous antics. However, I see it in other people when I say it, that they are like... what... It's not a thought that they've had. Not a word they've processed being associated being with another woman. It's fascinating, and pisses me off that we are conditioned by our brainwashers, that way. Seriously how it doesn't bother you I don't know. Maybe you haevn't noticed, I mean, I only started noticing after I learned about real reasonings behind history throughout time and especially all the hidden truths about the US's creation and past. Then I started noticing political view points and how they were affected by their upbruinging their jobs, areas, etc. Then I realized that we have all been brainwashed to believe and think certain things, and if you think or act differently, you are immediately shunned. We live in a society that neglects those who are different and stifles those who can strive. Seriously.