Post, Feelings

So that last post was my 100th XD I didn't even realize it, or maybe it's closing in, I might have those unposted posts. Hmm... interesting.

NOTE TO SELF: Make some CD's XD

So here will be a post that had not been at all edited (except this one spot I read while I was typing it will be in parenthesis kind of like this) of my feelings right after, like while I'm in the car, my concert last night. It will be erratic, probably not make too much sense (like right now I'm super out of it), sorry about that. It just has to go out there, my emotions that is. I swear I'm not going to post anything about today because I am so absolutely out of it it's crazy.


Post feelings

What pisses me off the most is the fact that they just came to me up at the school. It's not like I worked my ass off to learn my music to go to region , go through an emotional struggle the entire time, then go make 14th chair out of 86 flutes . Get into wind symphony, spend 3 hours yesterday, and an entire day learning 5 concert pieces, hating life. To play a concert for 30-1 hour of music.

The number one reason I've hated myself, been depressed, been so unactive, youu know what? They are teh reason my life sucks. Every negative factor of my life can be traced to them.

I will NEVER become them!!! I will KILL myself before I come out like them. I will never opress my children and I would miss meeting the president and proving god is fake or real, to support my kids. I('ll tell them I) love them every day multiple times and mean it every single time. I will never hate them like mine hate me.

And that's today's update, not how the concert went, or how I felt during practice, the stories, or eating fun. It's about the bitter note it's ended on.

Quothe the Raven, 'Nevermore'