Thursday, February 10, 2011

A bit fucked.

I have a new fascination of in girls with red hair. I just find them really attractive. Every other hair color is still cool, but I never found red hair attractive until pretty much this week. Well the fondness began when I was in choir and the chick behind me was cool and came back one day with red dyed hair. It was attractive and then Emily came along (from Skins) and she really makes the red work.

So yup! That was my revelation of the day!

Today I'm feeling a lot better than my moody before period surge of depression I had yesterday. But I'm still not completely happy. I'm very sad like genuinely sad.

I feel so lost, like I have no path, I have no purpose.

A bit frustrating it is. My best friend and my only other good friend, are leaving tomorrow to TMEA, it's a music educators/lovers, convention. So I won't have them to enjoy tomorrow. It's going to be a suck day. I may just go home early tomorrow.

Ah, okay. So my best friend, Gil. I've really been trying to ignore it and suppress it, but I think I like the bastard again. This is just not ideal. The fucker is just fucking likable. Ugh, stupid kid.

Anyways.

I feel hollow, I think that's the best way to describe it. Like I feel unfulfilled. It's not working out. It's time for me to live life I think. And my best friend is going off for the weekend. Gay.

It's been a shit week, but the week is almost over, then I get to wallow in my loneliness for a whole 2 days. Eh.

On a happier not I think I have learned how to play the song I need to teach my choir section on the piano! Sort of!

:)

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