This year's philosohpy

In case I forgot to mention it, I have a completely different view on life, it just so happens that it happened around the new year.

But it's simply, Why not? or as the Skins cast would say, Fuck it.

If I'm thinking saying something I simply will. I told Gil I used to like him, because I've been wanting to tell him for ages, I just didn't have the balls to.

Call it Carpe Diem, or a realization that life is too short, but I'm telling it how it is. I may get hurt in the process we call life but hey, it would have happened anyways, it just allows me more time to live.

If I get rejected, well I get rejected, but I'm not going to mull it over for week months, or even years to do or say something. I would have saved myself time where I could have been living.

If I get accepted, well I will be happier with someone I love for a longer amount of time where I can make more memories with said person.

Fear is a bitch I know, oh I know. But why would I let myself not do anything that I want to do because of fear? I would run over *in a figurative sense* anyone would would stand in the way of my dreams, why would I be a hypocrite and let myself stand in my own way?

I'm going for it. I'm saying things, living life. I'm a happy person, I can play with anyone, talk to anyone.

Which brings me another point. I understand my friends have grudges and such. But I don't live in feudal Europe or work for the world's political system. I will talk and hang out with whomever I want. If my friends can't live with that, fuck them. Yup, you heard me, fuck them. It's their problem not mine. I will fight for them and with them, but they don't get to tell me who I can and can't like. Thank you :)

Before I really just tried to make friends by making them happy, ignoring my own wants and needs. Now, I still care about my friends, but I will not work for their happiness when they don't try. The people who try will get my love, those who don't can go die. :)

Now, I've not turned into bitch, well for some people that is the definition of bitch, because the world revolves around them, but I have just redefined my self worth. I think I deserve as much happiness as everyone else in the world. I've fucked up, oh have I fucked up a million times, but that doesn't mean I should punish myself for the past. My past is my punishing me and I think ruining my high school years is enough punishment for that and more, if you don't go to hell.

Anyways! I've been watching a lot of Skins and yeah, the cursing has gotten to me.