So things are easier with me now. I mean yeah it sucks like hell. But I am doing my best to just forget, and continue forgetting. Because if I don't forget I won;t be able to let it go. Problem is, that I don't WANT to forget, it was seriously the best friendship I've ever had. The other guys kind of have sucked as friends.
So we have this band field trip coming up that we really have been looking forward to since last year. And NO ONE IS GOING. Me a Lithium were POed. She didn't get to go to Disney with us, so this would make it up, but most of our friends don't want to pay for it. So it's SUPER LAME. I'm still going and Lithium still wants to go, but no one is going, so that's lame. And I know everyone, so it won't be a remake of the Disney trip (long story short, my friends were making the happiest place in the world, NOT the the happiest place in the world, I went with this other group of people and we became good friends and I learned a lot from them) So ugh. This sucks, and is stupid. I hate life. swear man!
Um... Apparently the class that was affecting whether or not I would take AP Music Theory was that my counselors put me in a livestock class, wtf? Seriously wtf. Why the hell do we even HAVE a livestock class. We live in HOUSTON, a super crazy urban city, we aren't in the middle of no where guys! Stupid. Bendorf willl fight though.
I want Thorium and I to be friends again UGH! It's like I imagine happiness and I imagine talking to Technetium about what ever the topic is that week, and I imagine NO HOMEWORK, and I imagine talking to Thorium at school, and every where else like usual talking, laughing, smiling, just general happiness. I mean, ugh. It's killer. It may not seem like it reader, but I really am trying.
At school I'm am such a cold person near him! I ignore him, I avoid his gaze, his figure, his face, everything. I just avoid it. And I never acknowledge him. And a lot of people never talk to him when he's around. So, yeah. I know I act very cold. But I tried the whole normal approach, and lets just say I got very sad on the inside.
So acting angry towards him at all times is helping me. So he probably thinks I hate him. Which I should, but I can't hate him. It's too effing hard.
Um... You guys know that song 'What Hurts the Most' by rascal flatts, (I have no idea what they are called now that I think about it) or the other version of it by that chick. I know I suck at this name thing. But that is almost exactly what I feel. Almost. But man, and to make things no better, Cyanide and Happiness (which is something Thorium introduced me to) has depressing comic week this week. rawr. God, I want to hate him
(Please take in account that I do not believe in God, so do not take offense to me swearing or using his name in vain or whatever else you would take offense in me using it's name)
i love scotish comedians
Coco has a new show! yay! But I don't have the channel. aw...
Yeha, my punctuation and such as gone out teh window. i really don't feel like trying all that hard to finish this. I'm exhausted. and I have UIL tomorrow, that sucks. I wish today were Friday.
Oh bla di oh bla da
OMG TECHNETIUM DOESN'T LIKE THE BEATLES! That's crazy talk!
I think that's it. So, I'll say my good byes now, and cross your fingers for me not the update about Thorium again
Holmium was back at school today btw. He was sick the past few days. I've meant to text him,, but I always forget XD and I'm a flaky texter.
And yes, I still like Dysprosium and I am trying very hard to not crush on Cesium. But Dysprosium is slowly fading away (just not fast enough) and Cesium is being suppressed, because that's really not a friendship I don't want to destroy, especially because it could probably actually happen. Cesium is always open to everything, person needs to find themselves! Dysprosium has to go away, because that's NEVER going to happen unless fate takes a crazy turn, which it won't. I never like people younger than me, so that's really weird XD
Um... So NOW I take my leave.
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